ACTION, SUSPENSE

A war veteran, much loved by his friends, decides to try a new life, closer to his family and with a new job. He gets a job as an Intensive Supervisor in the Probation and Parole division, where he monitors the performance of former inmates daily (if they got a job; if they are away from drugs and problems...) to release them to a freer and independent life. However, his work begins to consume much of his time, and the promise of spending more time with his family begins to crumble. He also starts to be threatened at work after seeing two co-workers together in a restaurant, which is completely prohibited in the organization. But with patience and willpower, the veteran manages to do a good job, helping inmates to return to society, being respected by superiors, and spending more time with his wife and daughter.

GOOD

SCRIPT

Authors Writing Style: GOOD

Characterization: GOOD

Commerciality: GOOD

Franchise Potential: GOOD

Pace: FAIR

Premise: FAIR

Structure: FAIR

Theme: GOOD

Nothing to declare about the profile.

Knowing a little more about this work that deals directly with regretful criminals is quite interesting and draws attention.

There is a certain repetition in Mark's daily life, which ends up making the script a little less interesting. If there could be more significant variation, at least in the approach and stories of the inmates, that would be great.

THE STORY DOES NOT RELY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

The hook is seeing people trying to do their best every day, including the protagonist, who takes his work very seriously and actually tries to help ex-inmates. And also the ex-prisoners themselves who do everything to stay out of trouble, even living in hostile environments.

Fans of police/crime audiovisual movies and series would certainly be attracted to this work. The script is well assembled, and the central character lives surrounded by challenging cases and situations that have everything to attract this niche of viewers.

If the narrative focused more on the personal drama of the veteran who remains threatened at work and without the chance to spend more time with his family, it could have more potential for awards.

LOW BUDGET

SHORT TERM 12, COURAGEOUS LEGACY

The original part is the work that Mark does. He is not a badass police officer nor an investigator who gets involved in risky situations, but rather has an almost bureaucratic job, which makes him come into contact with criminals who have already served their sentences. The mix of bureaucracy with crime stories makes his work new to the viewer.

The protagonist Mark draws attention for his committed and highly dedicated style of work. Despite being all prissy, he still has the charisma to have the public on his side. We also know the side of a veteran's wife and what the lives of these women are like, who often need to do their best to deal with day-to-day life alone, while their husbands are serving the country.

It's not a rare gem, but as Mark has a job in the police that is very different from what we usually see on screen, the script ends up taking on a newer and more original feel.

FILM

WORK IN PROGRESS

Despite being a correct script, with good formatting, good descriptions of actions, a narrative that follows a flow in a coherent and cohesive way, and that even manages to maintain attention from beginning to end, the story seems more suitable for a series than to the cinema format, and it lacks more poignant conflicts.

Mark is a lovable character -- a good father, a good husband, and a good professional, but he also has his own flaws and a past that he tries to forget. Both the character and the narrative style (repetition of cases and analysis of who should be unsupervised and who should not) would fit better into the format of a series than a film. In the film, this series of different cases being opened and commented on ends up seeming too repetitive. In a series, each episode could address a different case, in a procedural that would show Mark's day-to-day life, and could better mature the season's dramatic arcs. It would also be necessary to think about more intense and more poignant conflicts. Mark has a conflict with his wife, but it is soon resolved, and also a conflict at work that leaves him worried, but which also ends up resolving itself. Ideally, Mark's day-to-day life would have more ups and downs, and he would often be taken out of his comfort zone. It would also be interesting to see Mark's drama as he connects emotionally with the ex-inmates he deals with and ends up taking their pain on himself. Overall, it is a good script, but it still needs adjustments and rethinking of the format.