The Incredible Adventure
ADVENTURE CHILDREN'S FANTASY ACTION
2000s,Contemporary,Earlier 20th Century
Francesca Santana
Logline
An Incredible Adventure is a script. One night, Lisa, is going out with her dog when she sees a big star on the sky. She stares at it and faints. When she wakes up, she finds herself inside a spaceship and meets Richardix and his crew. They inform her that they need her help.
Genre
Adventure, Children's,Fantasy,Action
Short Summary
The script starts with Lisa walking her dog inside the neighborhood. She stares at a star and faints. She wakes up in a spaceship. She meets with Richardix and he tells her that they need her to complete a mission. He knows that a group of aliens wants to do bad stuff to earth.
Setting
In a spaceship.
Based on a True Story
No
Plot - Premise
Voyage and Return,Overcoming Monster/Villain
Plot - Other Elements
Happy Ending,Meaningful Message
Mature Audience Themes
Information not completed
Main Character Details
Name: Lisa
Age: 9
Gender: Female
Role: Protagonist
Key Traits: Beautiful, Charming, Adventurous,Engaging,Adventurous,Flexible,Obedient,Heroic,Leader
Additional Character Details
Name: Richardix
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Role: Antagonist
Key Traits: Confident,Decisive,Visionary,Heroic,Leader
Additional Character Details
Name: Factor
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Role: tempter
Key Traits: Badass,Villainous,Greedy
Additional Character Details
The author has not yet written this
Genre
FANTASY
Brief
A young girls is looking through a telescope one night when suddenly a spaceship collides with it. She is taken to space and goes through many adventures in another planet, in a movie theater and in a forest. At the end, she comes home to find very surprised parents.
Overall Rating
FAIR
Narrative Elements
Authors Writing Style: FAIR
Characterization: FAIR
Commerciality: FAIR
Franchise Potential: FAIR
Pace: FAIR
Premise: GOOD
Structure: FAIR
Theme: GOOD
Accuracy of Book Profile
It does partially, even though the protagonist doesn't wake up from a dream at the end, as it is described in the Book Profile.
Draw of Story
The fact that it’s a story about a child's wild imagination.
Possible Drawbacks
The book has a dream-like structure in which the occurrences are all disconnected from each other, which can make readers lose interest. Maybe it would be good to work a little more on the narrative's structure.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
A little girl going through so many bizarre adventures.
Fanbase Potential
Probably not, even though the theme is interesting, because the narrative lacks a more linear story.
Awards Potential
Not yet, because the general structure could be improved.
Envisioned Budget
LARGE BUDGET
Similar Films/TV Series
IN THE LINE OF CHILDREN WHO GO TO FANTASTIC PLACES THAT COULD ALL BE INSIDE A DREAM, IT REMINDED ME OF THE ANIMATED SERIES DUNGEONS & DRAGONS OR EVEN THE MOVIE ADAPTATIONS OF PETER PAN.
What’s New About the Story
The lead character's great imagination and the sometimes violent adventures a 9 year old girl has to go through.
Lead Characters
She is courageous, curious and amiable.
Uniqueness of Story
Not really, because the story needs improvement, and revisions. Sometimes it feels too surrealistic to work as a narrative for kids.
Possible Formats
Film - Streaming
Analyst Recommendation
WORK IN PROGRESS
Justification
While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.
Tips for Improvement
In order for it to work, it would be better to focus on some of the main elements of the adventure and develop them further so the story would have clearer goals, characters and a more defined background. It is also important to pay attention to the "it was all a dream" ending, if it was the original intention for the story's conclusion. It became an enormous cliché and represents kind of a letdown for anyone who has been enthusiastically following any fantastic story that ends that way. Also, other than that, some of the book's last pages are scrambled and misplaced, and the grammar requires revision too.