Beach Detective: Woman Overboard

Fred Fuld professorfuld@yahoo.com 5830107693210

ACTION DETECTIVE MYSTERY CRIME SUSPENSE/THRILLER

Contemporary

Fred Fuld III

Logline

Harry Lido, a private detective in his twenties who lives and works in Redondo Beach, California, gets his first big case of a woman who fell off, jumped off, or was pushed off a cruise ship on her honeymoon. He also has to solve the murder of a hedge fund manager found under the Redondo Pier.

Genre

Action,Detective,Mystery,Crime,Suspense/Thriller

Short Summary

A flashback 10 years ago when Harry Lido, a senior in high school, meets a freshman girl named Kimmy. Flash forward 10 years, Harry, a private detective, checks his Facebook account, saw that Kimmy either fell off, jumped off, or was pushed off a cruise ship. Kimmy's mother hires him to find out.


Harry ends up solving the murder of a hedge fund manager found under the Redondo Beach Pier, and also what really happened to Kimmy.

Setting

Redondo Beach, California

Based on a True Story

No

Plot - Premise

Overcoming Monster/Villain

Plot - Other Elements

Happy Ending

Mature Audience Themes

Information not completed

Main Character Details

Name: Harry Lido

Age: 28

Gender: Male

Role: Protagonist

Key Traits: Adventurous,Confident,Engaging,Heroic

Additional Character Details

Name: Joel

Age: 28

Gender: Male

Role: Sidekick

Key Traits: Complex,Faithful,Educated,Modest,Obedient,Skillful,Sarcastic

Additional Character Details

Name: Ashely

Age: 24

Gender: Female

Role: sidekick

Key Traits: Adventurous,Aspiring,Confident,Faithful,Flexible,Sexy,Seductive

Additional Character Details

Name: Dudeman

Age: 30 to 40

Gender: Male

Role: sidekick

Key Traits: Obedient,Uneducated,Funny,Faithful,Crazy

Development Pitch

Beach Detective: Woman Overboard takes advantage of the Southern California milieu. It involves a young (maybe a little lazy) private detective, who also likes to surf. He lives in a little one-room building above the Redondo Beach Pier. His first big case is finding out what happened to a girl he know from high school, and is hired by the girl's alcoholic mother. Shortly after beginning his investigation, the friendly neighborhood homeless man, named Dudeman, tells Harry that there is dead body under the pier. Harry goes to check it out, gets hit over the head, and is accrued of the murder. The murdered man turns out to be a hedge fund manager, which gives an interesting financial twist to the story. The story continues with several twists and unusual characters, including a very talkative movie producer. Harry perseveres and doggedly tracks down what really happened with both mysteries.

About The Author

Produced several documentaries and a TV pilot. Author of several books, including two fiction mystery novels, one of which this screenplay is based on.

Target Audiences

Age: 7-12,13-17,18-34,35-54,55+

Target Gender: Universal

Publishing Details

Hard Copy Available

No

WGA Number

Information not completed

Genre

THRILLER, DRAMA

Brief

Harry is hired to investigate the death of Kimmy, an old acquaintance who went missing from a cruise ship. As he is chasing down leads, a body washes up under a bridge near him. As he begins to investigate the new case, common ties connect the deaths together. Harry is caught in the cross fires until he reveals the murderer and finds Kimmy alive.

Overall Rating

GOOD

Point of View

SCRIPT

Narrative Elements

Authors Writing Style: GOOD

Characterization: FAIR

Commerciality: FAIR

Franchise Potential: GOOD

Pace: GOOD

Premise: GOOD

Structure: GOOD

Theme: GOOD

Accuracy of Book Profile

It is accurate

Draw of Story

The story begins with young Harry and Kimmy meeting at the high school dance. The scene establishes the connection between the two and gives a little insight into the nature of the characters. The mystery surrounding Kimmy’s death is presented from the beginning, engaging the audience from early on.

Possible Drawbacks

The story is very predictable with few unique elements. The fact that Harry found Kimmy alive in the end was not surprising with the emphasis that there was no body found. Many of the characters are typical suspense genre characters. They are caricatures from the genre, mostly from older suspense thrillers of the 40’s and 50’s. The dialogue and some of the actions of the characters do not support a modern day story.

Use of Special Effects

THE STORY DOES NOT RELY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

Primary Hook of Story

The hook is that Harry begins to investigate the death of Kimmy, who went missing on a cruise ship. When another body is discovered, Harry learns that there is a connection between the two cases.

Fanbase Potential

This would not have a large fanbase. It is a decent story but has nothing to add to this genre of film. The twists are predictable and the characters are comical. Audiences have seen this story before.

Awards Potential

This does not have awards potential. There is nothing unique about the story, how it’s told or the characters. Harry is a typical, wise cracking detective with a love for pretty women who is decent at his job. There is no nuance to him or any of the other characters.

Envisioned Budget

MEDIUM BUDGET

Similar Films/TV Series

THE MALTESE FALCON, VERTIGO

What’s New About the Story

The story is not original. It feels like a nod to classic detective stories. It almost mimics them with the characters and dialogue which does not translate to modern times. There is no edge to the story. It is entertaining overall, but lacks an original element to set it apart from other stories of the genre.

Lead Characters

The lead character is a typical male detective investigating a case. There is little character exploration or development with him or any other characters. There are a few moments which seem out of place for a man of the 21st century, including his constant winking at the waitress and his use of the term sweetheart. These are outdated and do not represent a modern man. What is meant to be charming makes him appear as a creep for today’s audiences which is not what that the story is trying to achieve.

Uniqueness of Story

This is an average story that was written well. It would be entertaining to audiences, but would not have mainstream appeal, as is.

Possible Formats

Film: Studio, Indie, Streaming TV Series: Network, Cable, Limited Run / Mini-Series, Streaming

Analyst Recommendation

WORK IN PROGRESS

Justification

This is a work in progress because there isn’t anything distinguishing this story from other detective dramas. There needs to be an edge, a deeper reason behind the events. Kimmy’s explanation for faking her own death are the reasonings of a spoiled ,rich girl. Harry comes to the conclusion that Rocco is the murderer very easily. The story is entertaining at many moments, but there is little payoff.

Tips for Improvement

This story needs more substance. The reason Kimmy fakes her own death is because she hates her husband. There needs to be a more dire circumstance to drive someone to take such action. Wallace’s death and investigation is more interesting and could be the main plot. The characters surrounding his death need to be more developed. They are one sided. The audience does not get an understanding of who they are or their motives. The characters need to be more realistic and more time devoted to creating mystery so the audience is not sure of who is the culprit.

Logline

Harry Lido, a private detective in his twenties who lives and works in Redondo Beach, California, gets his first big case of a woman who fell off, jumped off, or was pushed off a cruise ship on her honeymoon. He also has to solve the murder of a hedge fund manager found under the Redondo Pier.

Short Summary

A flashback 10 years ago when Harry Lido, a senior in high school, meets a freshman girl named Kimmy. Flash forward 10 years, Harry, a private detective, checks his Facebook account, saw that Kimmy either fell off, jumped off, or was pushed off a cruise ship. Kimmy's mother hires him to find out.


Harry ends up solving the murder of a hedge fund manager found under the Redondo Beach Pier, and also what really happened to Kimmy.

FEEDBACK

Beach Detective: Woman Overboard takes advantage of the Southern California milieu. It involves a young (maybe a little lazy) private detective, who also likes to surf. He lives in a little one-room building above the Redondo Beach Pier. His first big case is finding out what happened to a girl he know from high school, and is hired by the girl's alcoholic mother. Shortly after beginning his investigation, the friendly neighborhood homeless man, named Dudeman, tells Harry that there is dead body under the pier. Harry goes to check it out, gets hit over the head, and is accrued of the murder. The murdered man turns out to be a hedge fund manager, which gives an interesting financial twist to the story. The story continues with several twists and unusual characters, including a very talkative movie producer. Harry perseveres and doggedly tracks down what really happened with both mysteries.

About The Author

Produced several documentaries and a TV pilot. Author of several books, including two fiction mystery novels, one of which this screenplay is based on.

Mature Audience Themes

Information not completed

Characters

Main Character

Name: Harry Lido

Age: 28

Gender: Male

Role: Protagonist

Key Traits: Adventurous,Confident,Engaging,Heroic

Character 1

Name: Joel

Age: 28

Gender: Male

Role: Sidekick

Key Traits: Complex,Faithful,Educated,Modest,Obedient,Skillful,Sarcastic

Character 2

Name: Ashely

Age: 24

Gender: Female

Role: sidekick

Key Traits: Adventurous,Aspiring,Confident,Faithful,Flexible,Sexy,Seductive

Character 3

Name: Dudeman

Age: 30 to 40

Gender: Male

Role: sidekick

Key Traits: Obedient,Uneducated,Funny,Faithful,Crazy