Devilution

Mark Childs theblackgoose@hotmail.ca 5635515613338

ACTION ADVENTURE DRAMA HORROR

2000s

Mark Childs

Logline

Wilf McKinley is a young man with many secrets. The visions that have haunted him since he was a child are suddenly changing, growing stronger. With the guidance of Doba, a mysterious Navajo spirit guide, Wilf embarks on a quest that will forever change his life and the life of his friends.

Genre

Action,Adventure,Drama,Horror

Short Summary

Wilf McKinley was born with the sight, an ability that is equal parts gift and curse. However, not even Wilf can see the evil that is coming to Twin Forks. Seven kids from the wrong side of the tracks, band together, to fight an evil unlike anything the world has ever seen before.


The world is spiraling out of control as the yo-tan spreads, consuming millions of innocent lives. Time is running out for Wilf, as he is forced to seek help from the spirit world. His journey will take him to the spirit realms of the Void, and the Nothing. Will he find what he seeks?

Setting

Twin Forks

Based on a True Story

No

Plot - Premise

Overcoming Monster/Villain,Internal Journey/Rebirth,Quest

Plot - Other Elements

Coming of Age

Mature Audience Themes

Extreme Violence

Main Character Details

Name: Wilf McKinley

Age: in his 20's

Gender: Male

Role: Protagonist

Key Traits: Aspiring,Clumsy,Underdog,Strong Moral Code

Additional Character Details

Name: Johnny Coon

Age: in his 20's

Gender: Male

Role: Sidekick

Key Traits: Funny,Adventurous,Sarcastic

Additional Character Details

Name: Olive Killoran

Age: late teens

Gender: Female

Role: sidekick

Key Traits: Badass,Adventurous,Seductive,Sexy

Additional Character Details

The author has not yet written this

Development Pitch

Welcome to Twin Forks, a small town with many secrets. Wilf McKinley is a young man with many secrets of his own. The visions that have haunted him since he was a child are suddenly changing, growing stronger. With the guidance of Doba, a mysterious Navajo spirit guide, Wilf embarks on a quest that will change his life forever as he races to stop Q’trill, the renegade Ak-Jang, from obtaining the yo-tan (liquid evil) that is buried beneath Twin Forks. Q’trill and his army of modified soldiers march against the Ak-Jang. The Cuilieann, a mysterious cult that is three thousand years old, surfaces to lay claim to the powerful yo-tan. Wilf becomes caught in a life-or-death struggle between the warring factions as he pushes forward to fulfill his destiny. The world is spiraling out of control as the yo-tan spreads, consuming millions of innocent lives. Time is running out for Wilf as he is forced to seek help from the spirit world. His journey will take him to the spirit realms of Amenti, Anastasius, the Void, and the Nothing as he struggles to make sense of a world gone horribly wrong.

About The Author

Mark is a cyclist, a runner, a triathlete, and an avid reader, who enjoys tennis, boating, spending time with his wife, Deb, his sons, Josh and Jake and his grandkids.

Target Audiences

Age: 18-34

Target Gender: Universal

Publishing Details

Hard Copy Available

No

WGA Number

Information not completed

Genre

THRILLER, SUSPENSE, RELIGION, FANTASY

Brief

A seemingly ordinary boy, who smokes marijuana with his friends and gets into some trouble around the city where he lives, begins to have visions about events that are about to happen. Despite his attempts to save the people at risk in the sights, he is unable to change their fate. In an encounter with a Navajo Chief, he will learn the reasons for these visions and why he was chosen.

Overall Rating

FAIR

Point of View

SCRIPT

Narrative Elements

Authors Writing Style: FAIR

Characterization: FAIR

Commerciality: FAIR

Franchise Potential: FAIR

Pace: FAIR

Premise: FAIR

Structure: FAIR

Theme: FAIR

Accuracy of Book Profile

It is accurate.

Draw of Story

The script is easy to read, and the story is pushed forward through dialogues that flow relatively well and are not tiresome. The initial conversation between the two friends flows well and brings some interest in knowing what will come out from there.

Possible Drawbacks

The structure makes the narrative a little repetitive. Wilf has a vision, he goes after to try to help, but he can't. And this is repeated about three times in the pilot. It would be interesting to change the pattern of events so that it doesn't seem predictable.

Use of Special Effects

THE STORY RELIES A LITTLE BIT ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

Primary Hook of Story

The main hook is related to the visions that affect an ordinary and uncommitted boy. It's interesting to see this duality between a teenager's totally ordinary life and the unique side of his world.

Fanbase Potential

Due to the more youthful content of the story, it would attract this audience target. For a wider audience, events and plot twists should be built in a little more complex way.

Awards Potential

Only if the plot turned to a path of an existential crisis of this common boy who begins to have the responsibility to save people and feel the guilt for not having done it.

Envisioned Budget

MEDIUM BUDGET

Similar Films/TV Series

THAT SO RAVEN: DESPITE THE DIFFERENT GENRE, THE SERIES HAS SIMILARITIES WITH THE PROPOSAL HERE, IN WHICH AN AVERAGE TEENAGER BEGINS TO SEE THE FUTURE. EARLY EDITION: A BOY RECEIVES THE NEXT DAY'S NEWSPAPER AND NEEDS TO AVOID ACCIDENTS AND CATASTROPHES.

What’s New About the Story

The original part would be this connection with the Navaho culture, in which his views have a more mystical side, of ancestry.

Lead Characters

Wilf and Johnny work well as a duo. Their dialogues are typical of teenagers at the top of their discoveries, and these lines run away from what was expected, which is good. However, all the rest of the characters seem like a vast mass of people in favor of the protagonist or against him. Everyone sounds very similar, and we only distinguish who they are by their relationship with the protagonist. As it is a series, I believe that the secondary characters will be better explored in the following episodes, but they still don't have great relevance in the pilot itself.

Uniqueness of Story

It's not a rare gem. Wilf's crisis had to be more evident from the pilot. He has visions that can save lives, and yet he is failing to resolve the situation. That should have some kind of negative impact on him.

Possible Formats

Television

Analyst Recommendation

WORK IN PROGRESS

Justification

It has interesting elements for a series that explores a teen universe with a different approach. However, there are still required adjustments in character development, structure, actions, and dialogue to make the story more complex and enjoyable.

Tips for Improvement

Further character development would be crucial. Wilf is an engaging protagonist, but he seems to be minimally hit by the whole dire situation that surrounds him. His father's death doesn't seem to hit him; his strange visions don't seem to hit him; the fact that he can never save anyone doesn't seem to hit him. That would be the basis for creating a most beloved protagonist. He is an absolutely ordinary teenager, but his internal crises due to the sudden changes in his life had the potential to make him a hero in crisis. Another point to be considered: the secondary characters. They look extremely alike. It's a bunch of good teenagers and a bunch of bad ones. However, for subplots and development, each character needs unique personalities and issues in order to guarantee interesting interactions and a well-developed narrative. The structure makes the pilot less attractive because there's a pattern that repeats itself. Wilf lives his life, he has his visions, he tries to help the person at risk, he doesn't manage to do it, and it all repeats itself on and on. If there was a pattern change, with an escalation of events, instead of repetition, the pilot would be much more interesting.

Logline

Wilf McKinley is a young man with many secrets. The visions that have haunted him since he was a child are suddenly changing, growing stronger. With the guidance of Doba, a mysterious Navajo spirit guide, Wilf embarks on a quest that will forever change his life and the life of his friends.

Short Summary

Wilf McKinley was born with the sight, an ability that is equal parts gift and curse. However, not even Wilf can see the evil that is coming to Twin Forks. Seven kids from the wrong side of the tracks, band together, to fight an evil unlike anything the world has ever seen before.


The world is spiraling out of control as the yo-tan spreads, consuming millions of innocent lives. Time is running out for Wilf, as he is forced to seek help from the spirit world. His journey will take him to the spirit realms of the Void, and the Nothing. Will he find what he seeks?

FEEDBACK

Welcome to Twin Forks, a small town with many secrets. Wilf McKinley is a young man with many secrets of his own. The visions that have haunted him since he was a child are suddenly changing, growing stronger. With the guidance of Doba, a mysterious Navajo spirit guide, Wilf embarks on a quest that will change his life forever as he races to stop Q’trill, the renegade Ak-Jang, from obtaining the yo-tan (liquid evil) that is buried beneath Twin Forks. Q’trill and his army of modified soldiers march against the Ak-Jang. The Cuilieann, a mysterious cult that is three thousand years old, surfaces to lay claim to the powerful yo-tan. Wilf becomes caught in a life-or-death struggle between the warring factions as he pushes forward to fulfill his destiny. The world is spiraling out of control as the yo-tan spreads, consuming millions of innocent lives. Time is running out for Wilf as he is forced to seek help from the spirit world. His journey will take him to the spirit realms of Amenti, Anastasius, the Void, and the Nothing as he struggles to make sense of a world gone horribly wrong.

About The Author

Mark is a cyclist, a runner, a triathlete, and an avid reader, who enjoys tennis, boating, spending time with his wife, Deb, his sons, Josh and Jake and his grandkids.

Mature Audience Themes

Extreme Violence

Characters

Main Character

Name: Wilf McKinley

Age: in his 20's

Gender: Male

Role: Protagonist

Key Traits: Aspiring,Clumsy,Underdog,Strong Moral Code

Character 1

Name: Johnny Coon

Age: in his 20's

Gender: Male

Role: Sidekick

Key Traits: Funny,Adventurous,Sarcastic

Character 2

Name: Olive Killoran

Age: late teens

Gender: Female

Role: sidekick

Key Traits: Badass,Adventurous,Seductive,Sexy