DRAMA, FANTASY

A 70-something engineering professor discovers a device capable of traveling through time. Seeking to fix the current state of world affairs, he travels back to 1963 to stop the assassination of JFK. Unfortunately, he’s transported back into his own 12-year-old body at the time, complicating matters as he doesn’t have the freedom an adult would, and history plays out as it always has. Back in the present, Godwin’s life is saved by a doctor who is the son of a woman he helped get out of a dangerous situation back in 1963.

FAIR

SCRIPT

It is accurate.

Unfortunately, no part of the hook is immediately apparent. Godwin doesn’t time travel for the first time until page 11, and the first 10 pages don’t build logically to this moment. Godwin doesn’t go back to 1963 until page 23, which could work, but, again, the build-up isn’t there to set this up. Godwin’s discussion of engineering and the archeological find are both very interesting starts to the script, but they’re only tangentially connected. They could be woven more throughout the story, which would help the beginning to feel necessary. There should be a stronger reason why Godwin is the one who’s studying this device, why he’s even involved in finding it. He’s rather passive right now, and the device sort of just falls into his lap.

As mentioned, the story takes a long time to get going. It makes sense in terms of film structure that Godwin wouldn’t be in Texas in the past until the start of the second act. However, the first act isn’t firmly establishing Godwin as a character and what he aims to do. He’s pretty much told by Wieman to stop Kennedy’s assassination, versus figuring it out for himself. His reasoning isn’t completely clear until an expository conversation with Debbie very late in the script (page 124). We need to understand why he’s undertaking this mission so we can root for him to succeed, and it would be even better if he could have a personal connection to it.

THE STORY RELIES A LITTLE BIT ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

Time travel is always a great hook for a feature film. It’s something that we, as humans, are endlessly fascinated by. There’s a reason it’s been a popular topic in literature and onscreen since the very first time travel stories; audiences are still drawn in by this sci-fi favorite. John F. Kennedy is also one of the most popular presidents in US history, so it’s easy to get behind the protagonist’s goal to save his life. He’s a world-famous historical figure, too, so it’s a hook not limited to an American audience. The most unique element of the script is that Godwin is put back into a preteen’s body, which complicates his mission.

Combining the elements of both sci-fi time travel and historical fiction is a smart move, as it’s easy to imagine both genre and history audiences being interested in this. It casts a wide net to draw in a fanbase.

Due to the science fiction genre, it’s unlikely that this would have traditional awards potential. That said, a really strong performance by the lead actor could change this.

MEDIUM BUDGET

11/23/63, THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY, PROJECT ALMANAC, PREDESTINATION

Theoretically the fact that Godwin is trying to stop Kennedy’s assassination could be very original. Unfortunately, it shares its main plot with two other pieces of media: 11/22/63 (novel, miniseries) and The Umbrella Academy (comic book, TV series). Both involve time travel back to 1963 and attempts to stop the assassination, and it’s even a teacher also in 11/22/63. One of the main characters of The Umbrella Academy is an elderly time traveler forced into his childhood body. This isn’t impossible to fix, though. Altering the age Godwin becomes would help avoid Umbrella comparisons, either to younger or even aging him to be a teenager or young adult. Giving him a more personal reason to travel to this time would be very helpful, or even having him accidentally ending up in this time and place and deciding to give it a shot.

The two most interesting things about Godwin as a lead character are that he travels back in time, and that he’s trying to stop an assassination as a 12-year-old kid. These are both elements of the plot, though, not of the character himself. Godwin’s character isn’t fleshed out very much within the script. He’s a lonely professor, who then becomes a loner 12-year-old. Godwin is almost too smart and too capable, so it’s not very enjoyable following him. He’s good at most things, and he’s not an emotional character. He doesn’t freak out that he’s a child again, even. It could be interesting if Godwin actually did try to be a kid a bit, since he shares that his own childhood was less than perfect. There’s a bit of this around page 75, but he’s only playing at being a kid, versus having any type of fun. This relates back to not fully understanding Godwin’s motivation for traveling back in time, as that will help the audience have a better hold on him.

The cause and effect idea of stopping Kennedy’s assassination in order to change things in the present day world is interesting, as it connects back to the opening with Godwin telling his class about engineering building blocks. If this element was pushed even further, it would make this even more of a rare gem. The easiest way to work in this idea would probably to have Godwin travel to more time periods to keep trying to fix things. In lieu of that, it might be more successful if Godwin is shown trying to topple more dominoes than just those that surround the assassination. Even those moments —such as him trying to stop Oswald himself — are great, but they also come very late in the story. The audience needs to be a bit more clued into Godwin’s plans along the way, and having specific events or people he tries to target would be a great way to do this.

Film

WORK IN PROGRESS

The chief concern is that the story isn’t wholly original, and it would be difficult if not impossible to avoid comparisons to other media. The lead character is also not very interesting, and he would need to be further built up in order to support this as there are very few subplots. Addressing these elements is necessary for it to move forward,but both are very doable. Much of what’s on the page is successful, and with careful edits, a new draft could be great.

With changes to the protagonist’s motivations as well as a more specific and dynamic lead himself, this could be a strong contender. Most time travel stories (and most stories in general) are incredibly personal, and we need that connection to be truly wrapped up in the narrative. A connection will also help the plot itself to feel more unique. It will also help the choice to save one man, versus more in, for example, a terrorist attack or bridge collapse, to become more understandable. The script could also better utilize its “ticking clock” element, as there’s a clear countdown to when Kennedy will be in Dallas. The script is also running a bit long for a feature, and the structure is hampering the pacing as many scenes aren’t advancing the plot. The flashback scenes, for instance, aren’t necessary, as they’re not successfully fleshing out Godwin’s character by showing bits of his backstory. The formatting of the plot is also improper, and crafting any new drafts using screenwriting software (many are available free online) would easily fix this.