Alee: an Every Girl Novel

Nicole Loufas

Book Cover



    Core Theme












    From losing her best friend in a mass shooting, to finding her homeless, drug addicted father who abandoned her at the age of four; Alee has never believed in happily ever after, until Laine. There's one problem. He's the best friend of her controlling ex-boyfriend.

    Target Audiences

    Age: 13-17,18-34

    Target Gender: Female Leaning


    San Francisco

    Based on a True Story


    Publishing Details

    Status: Yes: self-published

    Publisher: self-published

    Year Published: 2019

    Starting Description

    Alee is in mourning, having just lost her best friend in a shooting. She is walking out of the BART station, passed a group of homeless men, one calls her name. It's her father who now goes by Hawk. She takes him to Burger King and they talk about her life.

    Ending Description

    The story ends with Alee confronting the man who raped her (her ex boyfriend) on the night she has decided to end her life. She walks into her bedroom, pulls a stash of drugs from her drawer and takes them. The scene ends with her ex banging on the door as she sleeps into a peaceful sleep.

    Group Specific

    Information not completed

    Hard Copy Available




    Mature Audience Themes

    Sexual Abuse,Substance Abuse, Language/Profanity

    Plot - Other Elements

    Coming of Age,Other

    Plot - Premise


    Main Character Details

    Name: Alee Finch

    Age: 18-22

    Gender: Female

    Role: Protagonist

    Key Traits: Insecure,Lone Wolf,Unapologetic,Blunt

    Additional Character Details

    Name: Laine

    Age: 18-22

    Gender: Male

    Role: Emotional

    Key Traits: Adventurous,Aspiring,Complex,Confident,Heroic,Masculine,Honorable

    Additional Character Details

    Name: Benny

    Age: 18-22

    Gender: Male

    Role: antagonist

    Key Traits: Aggressive,Charming,Power Hungry,Manipulative

    Additional Character Details

    Name: Hawk

    Age: 40

    Gender: Male

    Role: mentor

    Key Traits: Criminal,Unapologetic




    After cheating on her high school boyfriend, BENNY, young ALEE discovers that she’s in love with his best friend, LAINE. Alee and Laine go through life together until Laine decides to enlist in the Marines. After he’s killed in a freak helicopter accident, Alee is left to pick up the pieces of her life without him.

    Overall Rating


    Point of View


    Narrative Elements

    Authors Writing Style: FAIR

    Characterization: FAIR

    Commerciality: FAIR

    Franchise Potential: FAIR

    Pace: FAIR

    Premise: FAIR

    Structure: FAIR

    Theme: FAIR

    Accuracy of Book Profile

    It is accurate.

    Draw of Story

    As a narrator, Alee is relatable and approachable from the beginning. She allows us access to the good, bad, and ugly of her world from the first page, which invites us into her life and helps us engage with her story. She is unapologetic, which makes her sympathetic and easy to root for, even when she isn’t making the best decisions.

    Possible Drawbacks

    The pacing is a bit quick at points, and we don’t always have the opportunity to engage with the intended emotions. For instance, we don’t spend much time grieving for Bryn before Alee moves on to focusing on her relationship with Laine. And later, we don’t spend too much time processing Alee’s sexual assault before she moves on to her pregnancy. Using these emotions as a through line could be beneficial, especially considering where Alee ends up.

    Use of Special Effects


    Primary Hook of Story

    Alee’s life is raw and gritty, which makes her relatable and approachable as a protagonist. Her emotions are complex, but easy to understand, which compels us to follow her on her journey. It’s also easy to root for Alee and Laine because the chemistry between them is clear on the page, and it’s appropriately devastating for us when she loses him.

    Fanbase Potential

    A story like this could appeal to fans of intense emotional dramas, like THIS IS US or EUPHORIA. In terms of rating, because of its mature adult content, it’s likely a ‘R.’ The material could potentially have global appeal as well, largely because the characters and their journeys aren’t strictly US-centric.

    Awards Potential

    ALEE deals with the intense, complex emotions throughout the script, which could translate well to Above the Line awards potential. Best actress could be a contender, as supporting cast nominations. But there is also potential Below the Line potential, in terms of things like clever cinematography or even costuming or score.

    Envisioned Budget


    Similar Films/TV Series


    What’s New About the Story

    The story is unique in its rawness and the approachability of its narrator. To make it more unique might mean slowing the pacing a bit and allowing the more prominent emotions room to breathe. It might also mean more fully developing a through line to connect all Alee’s plot points before delivering us a conclusion. For instance, how do Hawk, and Alee’s mother, and Bryn’s death, and Benny’s toxic masculinity all move the plot along without getting lost in the background? How do these things contribute to Alee’s grief enough that, after losing Laine, she feels like she’s out of options? Finding ways to make the plot points work together is likely the key to making the story feel more cohesive and well-rounded overall.

    Lead Characters

    Alee is gritty, unapologetic, and unafraid when it comes to showing us the different facets of her life, even the ones that don’t make her look great. On the contrary, Laine is all-loving, devoted, and shows Alee (and the reader) a kindness that’s nearly impossible not to fall in love with. Together on the page they have a chemistry that’s easy to root for and heartwarming to read about. When Alee loses Laine, we’re then able to feel the grief and the devastating along with her, in a way that we might otherwise not.

    Uniqueness of Story

    ALEE has potential, but it doesn’t feel like a rare gem quite yet. It feels like the pacing is a bit rushed, and the reader doesn’t have the room to feel some of the complex emotions throughout. Further, it feels like the story is missing a through line, something that connects all the various plot points together without leaving anything (like Bryn’s death) behind for the reader. Going back in and tweaking these two things in a way that the reader can engage with is a likely next step, and could help take an interesting concept and turn it into a marketable story.

    Possible Formats

    Film: Indie, Streaming TV Series: Network, Cable

    Analyst Recommendation



    While the concept is interesting, the story feels like it needs to be fleshed out a bit more to be a good candidate for adaptation. At certain points, it’s tough to feel the intended emotions because things move too quickly. Additionally, it’d be great if the story had a more established through line to capitalize on the intense, complex emotions meant to be invoked in the reader.

    Tips for Improvement

    A slower pace with more emphasis on emotion would be a great place to start. A better established through line would be helpful, too, to capitalize on the rawness of Alee’s journey and help engage the reader from start to finish. The key to success for a story like this is ensuring that the reader feels the progression of emotion from the protagonist, and here it feels quite surface level. Going a little deeper is likely to help take an good concept, and turn it into great adaptation material.


    After cheating on her high school boyfriend, BENNY, young ALEE discovers that she’s in love with his best friend, LAINE. Alee and Laine go through life together until Laine decides to enlist in the Marines. After he’s killed in a freak helicopter accident, Alee is left to pick up the pieces of her life without him.

    What We Liked

    ALEE is gritty, emotionally complex, and at times devastating. It follows the journey of a young, lower-class female who has the odds stacked against her with an alcoholic mother and a drug-addicted, estranged father. Despite her circumstances, it’s easy to root for her once she meets LAINE, who promises her the world and does his best to deliver. After watching them grow up together, Laine is killed in a freak accident that leaves Alee alone, possibly pregnant, and devastated. We follow the remainder of her journey as she struggles with her grief and feelings in a raw, but understandable way.

    Film: As a film, ALEE feels like a low-budget, independent adaptation. It is character driven and
    doesn’t rely on special effects of heavy plot points to move the story along. It’s emotionally complex and raw in theme, which could translate nicely to the feature format.

    TV: There is a lot of raw material to work with, that could translate well to the television format.
    The story doesn’t necessarily have a defined starting or end point, so there’s room for continuity and/or expansion, if it’s needed. ALEE is also a strong character-driven piece and doesn’t rely heavily on plot to drive the story along. But if the pivotal plot points were enhanced slightly, it could work alongside shows like THIS IS US or EUPHORIA.

    Key points:
    -Raw, gritty subject matter.
    -Strong theme.
    -Potential for diverse cast.
    -Emotionally complex.


    ALEE (teens) takes the BART in San Francisco. And comes face-to-face with her estranged father, HAWK. Alee takes him to Burger King and attempts to get to know him. Hawk suggests that they continue to meet, but Alee knows better than to take him at his word.

    Several weeks prior, ALEE has sex with LAINE, her boyfriend, BENNY’S, best friend. Benny confronts Alee near the school dumpsters, and peppers her with question about her affair with Laine. When she ends the relationship, Benny begins to get angry. He tells her that he had sex with Bryn.
    Bryn apologizes for having sex with Benny, and Alee is surprised to discover that she’s not upset. Alee learns that Bryn was killed in a shooting at swim practice. Alee’s MOTHER begins drinking again, and refuses to attend the funeral. At the funeral luncheon, Alee finds Laine. They bond over the loss of Bryn.

    Laine follows Alee to a coffee shop, and realizes that she’s celebrating her high school graduation alone. He convinces her to join him at his parents’ empty house for lasagna and a few beers. They flirt, and have sex again.

    Alee and Laine begin dating, and start to say, ‘I love you.’ After a concert, Laine walks Alee into her house, and they find Alee’s mother passed out drunk on the floor. Laine vows to save up enough money for an apartment, and asks Alee to marry him.

    Two years later, Alee and Laine are living together. Both are broke and they argue when Laine realizes that they can’t even afford a box of condoms. Alee storms out and goes back to her mother’s house.

    Alee meets Laine outside of her part-time bakery job, to find that he was assaulted after confronting a motorist who almost hit a pregnant woman. At home, Laine asks Alee to marry him already. They struggle with where to live, and eventually Alee agrees to continue living with Laine’s parents. Alee goes to visit her father, who takes her to his homeless encampment. He tells her that he left the family because he couldn’t be the kind of father she needed. Alee begins to wonder if she’ll ever abandon Laine.

    Alee and Laine tell his parents that they’re getting married, and an argument ensues. Alee and Laine decide to move in with Alee’s mother. Just before they’re supposed to get married, Laine learns that his mother has ovarian cancer. He begins spending time with his parents, leaving Alee alone with her mother. When the prognosis is good enough, he returns to Alee.

    Alee throws Laine a birthday party, and is surprised when Benny shows up. They decide to make amends and try to be friends. After several drinks, Laine sits Alee and Benny down and spills his secret: he enlisted in the Marines, and leaves in a week. They both try to talk him out of it, but Laine is persistent. Benny arrives at Laine’s send off party and confesses his love for Alee. She brushes him off.
    Laine tells his parents that after bootcamp, he and Alee will be married. Benny pours them all tequila and Alee begins to feel nauseous. At home, her mother wonders about the nausea and Alee realizes that she might be pregnant.

    With Laine gone, Alee goes in search of Hawk. She can’t find him, so she begins hanging out with REGINALD instead. She tries to learn about him, but Reginald is unwilling to tell her anything about himself. Alee settles into her pregnancy, and begins documenting everything for Laine. Benny arrives home for a few days and shows up at Alee’s mom’s house with pizza. He grabs her hand, and Alee begins struggling with her feelings for him. Benny drives Alee to Laine’s bootcamp graduation. He gets drunk and knocks on her hotel room door in the middle of the night. She doesn’t open it. Laine tears up at the sight of Alee’s growing belly. They spend the night before their wedding together, relishing in each other. But the next morning, they awaken to learn that Benny’s father died of a heart attack.

    The wedding is delayed while Laine tends to Benny. Alee is distraught to learn that she miscarried. Laine’s mother consoles her, and asks her not to tell Laine until he finishes infantry camp. At Benny’s father’s funeral, a drunk Benny traps Alee against a wall. Laine throws him off, and brings Alee to safety. Laine proposes to Alee with a sapphire ring and promises to marry her when he returns. On their way to the airport, Alee tells him that she lost the baby. He consoles her and promises that
    everything will be alright, so long as they’re together. Laine returns home for Thanksgiving and Alee notices that he seems off. Laine tells her that he wants to try for another child, and they do. She awakens that evening to find him staring at the
    moon, wondering what’s in store for him.

    Alee gets word that Laine died in a freak helicopter accident. She grieves alongside his family and friends. Laine’s mother gives Alee a bottle of bourbon and some Valium. She uses both to numb herself. Benny arrives drunk and falls on top of her. He begins raping her, and Alee is helpless to stop him. Alee is waiting at the bus stop when she meets a high school English teacher, COURT. Court invites her to his sister’s birthday brunch. Once there, she realizes how much younger she is than Court. He admits that he has a history of inappropriate relationships. Alee lets him stay at her house regardless. He stays for several weeks, until he finds his next young victim. Court arrives at Alee’s house before he runs away with a young girl. Alee takes a pregnancy test and it comes up negative. But several months later, she gets a positive result, which she confirms with a doctor. Court returns to let Alee know that the police couldn’t charge him with a sex crime, and Alee asks him to throw her baby shower. When Court asks who the father is, Alee can only hope that it’s Laine’s.

    Benny pressures Alee to get a baby test, and claims that he has a right to know if it’s his. Alee’s mom finally gets sober. Alee gets caught up in her grief, and decides to end her life. She tells her mother of her plan, and her mother tries to console her. Benny arrives with a letter from Laine, telling Alee to make life her bitch.

    About The Author

    Nicole is an indie writer from Northern California. Her writing is inspired by S. E. Hinton and John Grisham. She weaves real life into her work and doesn't think every story needs to end in a happily ever after. Her first book was published in 2015. Alee is her eighth novel.