Star Lass
Submision Type
book
Logline
With the help of her royal AI protector, a star empire princess escapes assassination through an untested teleportation theory, and lands on Earth where she discovers she has superpowers. The assassin follows her to Earth, determined to finish the job.
Genre
Action,Adventure,Sci-fi,Epic
Short Summary
Princess Lassandra, with her guardian AI, fled assassination and risked an untested theory for Teleportation. What she did not know was whether it would work at all or where it would send her. Least of all did she expect to land on an unknown backward planet called Earth, and find true love.
Setting
Planet Arista, Planet Earth
Based on a True Story
No
Plot - Premise
Overcoming Monster/Villain,Internal Journey/Rebirth
Plot - Other Elements
Coming of Age,Happy Ending
Mature Audience Themes
Information not completed
Main Character Details
Name: Lassandra
Age: 19
Gender: Female
Role: Protagonist
Key Traits: Adventurous,Charming,Desperate,Gracious,Modest,Selfless,Romantic,Strong Moral Code,Naive,Leader
Additional Character Details
Name: Roby
Age: 1000
Gender: Other
Role: Mentor
Key Traits: Charming,Masculine,Selfless,Outspoken,Decisive,Complex,Faithful,Engaging,Flexible,Educated,Honorable,Sophisticated,Skillful,Obedient
Additional Character Details
Name: Steve
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Role: protagonist
Key Traits: Aspiring,Charming,Decisive,Masculine,Educated,Heroic,Strong Moral Code,Romantic,Skillful
Additional Character Details
Name: Virus
Age: 1000
Gender: Other
Role: antagonist
Key Traits: Badass,Aggressive,Complex,Confident,Criminal,Villainous,Greedy,Sophisticated,Secretive,Power Hungry
Genre
ACTION, DRAMA, FANTASY
Brief
Lassandra flees into hyperspace to avoid the being disintegrated by the royal court who killed her reigning parents. She ends up on earth and she and her AI guardian must figure out how to keep her safe from getting pursued across time and space. She is helped by the fact that she gains superpowers on Earth due to her experimental leap into hyperspace. Her powers cause her to become known as Star Lass.
Overall Rating
FAIR
Narrative Elements
Authors Writing Style: FAIR
Characterization: FAIR
Commerciality: GOOD
Franchise Potential: FAIR
Pace: FAIR
Premise: FAIR
Structure: GOOD
Theme: FAIR
Accuracy of Book Profile
Yes the book profile does reflect the the story in both character and plot development. The profile could be strengthened by adding additional information to pitch because it just repeats the summary at the moment. Additional information about why the story is marketable may include themes and or what the big picture adaptation may look like in terms of genre and compelling details.
Draw of Story
Lassandra is forced into hyperspace with an unknown outcome. She faces certain death if she stays in her kingdom and her unknown future results in gaining superpowers.
Possible Drawbacks
There is a focus on the main conflict, but the emotional stakes become a bit aloof as the inner conflicts are not as apparent. For example Virus seems to be after power in killing Lassandra, but it is not as clear why he wants power and what he plans to do with it.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
The hook is that Lassandra survives a space jump that no human has ever tried before so the side effects are unknown. It is also an interesting exploration similar to cyberspace.
Fanbase Potential
If the themes and inner conflicts are more apparent, this could have a decent size teen sci-fi audience.
Awards Potential
Due to its genre and lack of societal themes, this is unlikely to be nominated for awards but could prove commercially popular.
Envisioned Budget
LARGE BUDGET
Similar Films/TV Series
VALERIAN AND THE CITY OF A THOUSAND PLANETS, STARDUST, GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY, READY PLAYER ONE
What’s New About the Story
The originality stems from the hyperspace exploration as well as how genetic modification changes identity. Rather than focusing on just the mechanics and external conflict, adding more inner conflict changes through the experience with hyperspace make create stronger emotional investment and clear character transformation.
Lead Characters
Lassandra is bold, unafraid and steady. Roby is intuitive, self-sacrificing and a strong critical thinker. Virus is power hungry, heartless and dedicated.
Uniqueness of Story
The world building has some neat moments but it is unclear how conciousness could be depicted visually as well as what the characters inner conflicts are which is key for emotional investment in the story.
Possible Formats
Film: Streaming, Indie, Studio
Analyst Recommendation
WORK IN PROGRESS
Justification
While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.
Tips for Improvement
Refining the motivation of the antagonist will help clarify the extent of the conflict beyond the scope of reactionary survival. By making the inner conflicts clearer, the characters will have increased emotional investment which will make the external conflict more nuanced. Therefore the pacing will be quicker due to the influx of additional inner tension.