Saving Worms After the Rain

Book Cover

MYSTERY SUSPENSE/THRILLER HISTORICAL FICTION CRIME DETECTIVE

20th Century (multiple decades),Contemporary

Paul Nelson

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Submision Type

book

Logline

Aspen Winkleman is a young autistic man, who is also psychic. He is called upon by the police in the tiny mountain town of Renfro, PA to assist with a missing person case. A teen girl has disappeared and there are no leads. The story includes some local history, gangsters, moonshiners and the klan.

Genre

Mystery,Suspense/Thriller,Historical Fiction,Crime,Detective

Short Summary

A teen girl is missing in a tiny town deep in the mountains of Pennsylvania. The story introduces many of the true characters who live in the town, which has changed very little in the last hundred years. There are encounters with the klan, moonshiners and Al Capone.

Setting

Rural Pennsylvania

Based on a True Story

No

Plot - Premise

Overcoming Monster/Villain,Internal Journey/Rebirth

Plot - Other Elements

Meaningful Message,Twist

Mature Audience Themes

Language/Profanity

Main Character Details

Name: Aspen Winkleman

Age: early twenties

Gender: Male

Role: Protagonist

Key Traits: Charming,Complex,Skillful,Funny,Educated,Underdog

Additional Character Details

Name: Warren Dale

Age: thirties

Gender: Male

Role: Protagonist

Key Traits: Masculine,Confident,Skillful,Heroic,Honorable,Educated,Leader

Additional Character Details

Name: Lucien Gurlach

Age: thirties

Gender: Male

Role: antagonist

Key Traits: Badass,Aggressive,Crazy,Criminal,Lone Wolf,Unapologetic,Greedy

Additional Character Details

The author has not yet written this

About The Author

Paul Nelson is a retired middle school music teacher. His non-verbal autistic son, Michael, is the inspiration for the characters in Paul's books. Together, Paul and Michael hope to encourage acceptance and understanding of autism through enjoyable fiction. They recently completed their tenth book as a team. All titles are available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle. All of their books contain an element of the paranormal.

Target Audiences

Age: 18-34

Target Gender: Universal

Group Specific

Information not completed

Publishing Details

Status: Yes: self-published

Publisher: Amazon (Kindle Direct Publishing)

Year Published: 2015

Hard Copy Available

Yes

ISBN

978-1986285247

Genre

ACTION, THRILLER, DRAMA

Brief

Aspen travels to a remote Pennsylvania town to use his psychic gift to find a young missing girl named Emily. The town long plagued with klans and gangsters tries to have hope about Emily's survival. Aspen is able to find her and Emily is rescued. However some are injured in the last standoff.

Overall Rating

FAIR

Point of View

THIRD PERSON

Narrative Elements

Authors Writing Style: FAIR

Characterization: FAIR

Commerciality: FAIR

Franchise Potential: GOOD

Pace: FAIR

Premise: GOOD

Structure: FAIR

Theme: FAIR

Accuracy of Book Profile

Yes the profile accurately describes the story. The pitch in particular does a good job explaining the marketable qualities of the story beyond just the plot. Adding an additional character description for Owen or another might help round out the character details.

Draw of Story

The missing girl in a town of moonshiners, Italian gangsters and klan members has a lot to sort through in terms of who could have taken her and the race to find her in compelling as it has the unusual clue of a vision.

Possible Drawbacks

The structure at the beginning from the different town perspectives and some of the town history can delay the pacing of the main conflict's development.

Use of Special Effects

THE STORY RELIES A LITTLE BIT ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

Primary Hook of Story

The hook is that Aspen is both autistic and psychic and in charge of solving a case for a community that has a lot of bold conflict that he has to somewhat learn the history of to find Emily by using it to give context to his vision.

Fanbase Potential

This might have a medium to small fanbase based on the supernatural element of solving crimes with visions.

Awards Potential

This is unlikely to have awards potential due to the large cast of characters not allowing for deep character development and transformation that would garner nominations although as a series it may have more potential.

Envisioned Budget

LOW BUDGET

Similar Films/TV Series

GREENLEAF, MEDIUM, ROOM, THE MENTALIST, THE LOVELY BONES

What’s New About the Story

The originality of the story is Aspen and his character rather than the small town. Although the small town has neat aspects, the message in unclear in the inclusion of the klan and gangsters in regards to Emily's kidnapping outside of showing that her kidnappers comes from bad stock due to their racism.

Lead Characters

Aspen is inquisitive, methodical and has good follow-through. Owen is caring and kind. The Gurlachs as a whole are violent and close-minded.

Uniqueness of Story

This has some potential but could benefit from revising the dialogue and creating subplots more applicable to the main conflict despite its relevance to the setting. For example when Al Capone interacts with the town klan members this does not advance Emily's plot.

Possible Formats

TV Series: Streaming, Cable, Network

Analyst Recommendation

WORK IN PROGRESS

Justification

While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

Tips for Improvement

Focusing more on the protagonist and redistributing the subplots to better align with the main conflict could help create more consistent pacing and sustained tension involving Emily's disappearance.