ACTION, SUSPENSE, DRAMA, WAR

A dad fights for survival on his home turf after surviving the Vietnam War. He and his two sons take on a variety of foes in all terrains. The men are able to defeat every foe in a realistic bond that transcends generations.

FAIR

THIRD PERSON

Authors Writing Style: FAIR

Characterization: FAIR

Commerciality: FAIR

Franchise Potential: GOOD

Pace: FAIR

Premise: FAIR

Structure: FAIR

Theme: FAIR

The book profile does reflect the narrative, with the development pitch doing an especially good job of providing thematic insight into the story. It might help to eliminate the line about the cast as it is unclear whether it it referring to the cast of characters therefore an ensemble or the actually casting of actors for an adaption which is not set in stone yet.

The bond that the three men have and their antics later in the story are heartfelt and the action is very high-octane. It creates emotional investment both in the characters and the pacing later in the story.

The beginning origins of characters in the beginning create slower pacing in the first portion of the story compared the end of the second act and the third act. The different external conflicts can make the exploit feel less cohesive without a stronger connection between the inner conflict transformations. Sometimes the dialogue can lack subtext in non-action scenes which also creates pockets of slower pacing.

THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

The hook is that a father and his two sons must fight enemies on land, in the water and even the air. The violent justice is cathartic and satisfying for those that have enjoy clear cut action films.

With more cohesive antagonists and a building of pacing this has a lot of potential for a large audience of fun action movies with traditional American values its themes.

Given its action heavy genre this is unlikely to have prestige awards circuit potential however this may wind for technical awards given its variety of landscape both visual and for audio mixing.

LARGE BUDGET

YELLOWSTONE, NARCO, SICARIO, BREAKING BAD, DEER HUNTER

The originality of the story is the strength of the family and adaptability they have in bringing justice in all terrains to distinctly bad antagonists. It might be beneficial to make the bad guys more humanistic in their motivations to make there be even more investment in their conflict and the protagonists' success.

John is protective, capable and confident. His son Elliot is caring, hopeful and brave. Jack is loyal, romantic and pragmatic.

The bond is great between the protagonists, and the action is enjoyable but some of the dialogue and structure could be adjusted with further development to reach the story's maximum pacing potential.

Film: Streaming, Indie, Studio

WORK IN PROGRESS

While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

Having more nuance to the dialogue with purpose will create more realistic conversations in the non-action scenes. Creating a more consistent pacing with antagonists that build throughout the story will also help make the different locations feel more unified as one story about the family getting justice.