DRAMA, RELIGION

Mila is followed by Death as a young child. As she gets older they question their connection to one another. Mila falls in love with Death aka Silas and they navigate being married together.

FAIR

FIRST PERSON

Authors Writing Style: FAIR

Characterization: FAIR

Commerciality: FAIR

Franchise Potential: GOOD

Pace: FAIR

Premise: GOOD

Structure: FAIR

Theme: FAIR

The profile does reflect the story although the short summary has more of a complete summary than the development pitch. The pitch could benefit from more of an explanation as to why the story is marketable through themes rather than just repeating the function of the logline and the summary. The logline is very well done.

The idea that Mila is able to touch death and even death isn't able to understand why is compelling. It initiates the concept of fate before they even fall in love.

There is an inconsistency to the description of Death in that at first it is described as a man because the parents get freaked out by child Mila describing it at the zoo and visiting the Grandma but then Silas is suddenly her age. This creates confusion. Keeping the Death description more simple and less confusing will help it feel more cohesive and less creepy and more mysterious at the beginning.

THE STORY DOES NOT RELY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

The hook is that Mila falls in love with the Grim Reaper. It is unprecedented because he has never been able to touch anyone before so there is something special about Mila which creates natural interest and unusual chemistry between the two.

This could potentially have a large teen supernatural romance fan base due to its unique love story with less common supernatural elements.

This is unlikely to have awards potential due to its themes and genre as mainly a romance in the latter part of the story.

LOW BUDGET

TWILIGHT, WRISTCUTTERS, BEAUTIFUL CREATURES, MORTAL INSTRUMENTS, THE VAMPIRE DIARIES

The originality of the story stems from the supernatural romance between Mila and the Grim reaper with an almost biblical theme. Including the bible in a supernatural romance as the guide for its pacing and morality is uncommon. Having a consistent conflict during their romance would help keep tension afloat as their romance doesn't have much conflict outside of their external identities.

Mila is curious, selfless, and hopeful. Silas is loyal, smart and consistent.

The concept is unique but the characters do not have a clear internal conflict nor is the main conflict consistent.

Film: Streaming, Indie, Studio

WORK IN PROGRESS

While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

Showing clearer inner conflicts for Mila and Silas as well as a clear transformation would help the set up of their marriage feel more earned outside of their unique circumstances as well as increase emotional investment in their goal. Keeping the external conflict consistent alongside their romance subplot is also important to keep the pacing up to speed and avoid action stagnation in the middle and end of the story.