FANTASY, ACTION

Jack Crowley is a low-profile wizard who is not looking for more trouble. However, a boy appears at his door looking for answers to his brother's death, and a secret agency seeks him out to stop those who are releasing monsters in the city of Los Angeles. He is then thrust into a risky adventure.

FAIR

FIRST PERSON

Authors Writing Style: GOOD

Characterization: GOOD

Commerciality: GOOD

Franchise Potential: GOOD

Pace: FAIR

Premise: GOOD

Structure: FAIR

Theme: FAIR

It is accurate.

The magical universe created by the author is quite interesting. He actually brings magical details to the screen, and the story starts right in the middle of the action.

A large number of characters that emerge and the new rules of the universe that we have to assimilate make the reading a bit challenging.

THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

The hook is this wizard boy who tries to run away from trouble but ends up being pushed into a risky adventure. It's nice to follow him.

There is a fantasy genre audience that could be interested in narrative content. However, a little more story, the universe, and character development would be beneficial to attract a wider audience.

The special effects and the fantastic visual that the narrative demands could have the potential for awards.

LARGE BUDGET

HARRY POTTER: BECAUSE OF THE WIZARDING UNIVERSE CREATED AND THE INTERESTING ATMOSPHERE. FANTASTIC BEASTS: HUMANS AND WIZARDS LIVING SIDE BY SIDE AND FANTASTICAL CREATURES THAT NEED TO BE TAMED.

There is an interesting mix between humans, wizards, robots, and mythological creatures, which work coherently together.

Jack Crowley is a very remarkable character. Despite being thrust into adventure, he is an active, intelligent, and kind-hearted character. He has his own personality and communication style that make him more memorable and unique. Alanna is also a thought-provoking character. She is strong and firm in her convictions. Lucas is an attraction in itself. He's empathetic and interesting to watch. The main characters are interesting and work well together. The others end up sounding more alike.

It's not a rare gem. However, the author does a good job of creating a fantastical universe and cohesively integrating multiple fantastical elements.

Film: Studio, Streaming

WORK IN PROGRESS

While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

First, the story has a tone that sounds more youthful than it actually is. The characters also sound more juvenile than they are. Jack looks like a troublesome boy who is trying to get out of trouble. But when you see on the profile that he is 29 years old, it seems that the age doesn't suit him very much. Perhaps a whole more rejuvenated narrative could match more with the universe and the stories. Some character's goals seem straightforward, but Sal's ends up being the most obvious. He needs to know who killed his brother, which ends up becoming the center of the action. It would be interesting to see other goals and desires as clear as his so that other characters' intentions could be more precise. As it is a fantastic universe, the rules of this universe are necessary for the audience to follow the plot. However, many rules put together end up making understanding more challenging. More visual things like the aura that determines whether someone is human or not are good choices. Gradual exposition of these rules is also an interesting way to insert this kind of information. Jack is a very well-constructed character, but matching him up with others is a good way to make every interaction more impactful and memorable. If the protagonist is impressive, the antagonists must be impressive as well. The magical universe is fascinating, the characters (especially those next to Jack) are well-drawn. However, the narrative needs more development and a more complete arc to make the story more complex.