Caught In a Tangled Loop

Audrey Clare

Book Cover



    Core Theme



    1960s & '70s,Across Centuries











    Personal Message: This book will make an amazing movie Logline: CAUGHT IN A TANGLED LOOP: a psychological thriller/Drama "Caught In A Tangled Loop," is an uncompromising story of a young man's struggled to survive his terrifying experience in a foster home, his escape, and finding the smuggled i

    Target Audiences

    Age: 35-54,55+,18-34,13-17

    Target Gender: Universal


    Personal Message: This book will make an amazing movie Logline: CAUGHT IN A TANGLED LOOP: a psychological thriller/Drama "Caught In A Tangled Loop," is an uncompromising story of a young man's struggled to survive his terrifying experience in a foster home, his escape, and finding the smuggled icon, that will change his life forever. The mystery story takes place early on in Huston, Texas and moves on into Jalisco, Mexico. Synopsis: CAUGHT IN A TANGLED LOOP: By:Audrey Clare a psychological thriller/Drama "Caught In A Tangled Loop," is an uncompromising story of a young man's struggled to survive his terrifying experience in a foster home, his escape, and finding the smuggled icon, that will change his life forever. This mystery story takes place early on in Huston Texas and moves on to Jalisco Mexico

    Based on a True Story


    Publishing Details

    Status: Yes: self-published

    Publisher: Amazon

    Year Published: 2015

    Starting Description

    Personal Message: This book will make an amazing movie Logline: CAUGHT IN A TANGLED LOOP: a psychological thriller/Drama "Caught In A Tangled Loop," is an uncompromising story of a young man's struggled to survive his terrifying experience in a foster home, his escape, and finding the smuggled i

    Ending Description

    He felt a tangled loop come undone inside him. He was free at last. He shifted his eyes back to the window, beyond the pink and orange streaks that broke through the clouds, to the blue and white mist and the sun working to wake the day. I feel I just caught the hand of God.

    Group Specific

    “What did you just say? My mother was a Huicho?” He put the bag onto the table and looked at Julia. She nodded. “How can this be? I am Irish. Look at me. I can’t be a Huicho with this red hair and blue eyes?” He stood now. “You got your father’s Irish genes, for sure, in your red hair and blue eyes. But your dark complexion comes from your madre, Danny.” She smiled. “Your mother was a descendant of Prince Keneziia, three generations removed from King Venezuela Montezuma of the great Aztec tribe.” She nodded to him while she talked. The words drove through Danny’s mind, revealing a history he never knew until this very moment. “When Keneziia and his wife ran from the Spanish, they had with them their young daughter and some of their religious artifacts that were part of the Aztec treasures.” Danny interrupted “Why was I never told? Why didn’t someone tell me? Why did you go so long before telling me this, Julia?”

    Hard Copy Available



    ISBN-13: ISBN-10: 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Printed in the USA

    Mature Audience Themes

    Substance Abuse

    Plot - Other Elements

    Happy Ending,Coming of Age,Twist,Meaningful Message

    Plot - Premise

    Tragedy,Voyage and Return,Quest,Internal Journey/Rebirth,Overcoming Monster/Villain,Rebellion Against 'The One'

    Main Character Details

    Name: Danny

    Age: 25

    Gender: Male

    Role: Emotional

    Key Traits: Masculine,Aspiring,Complex,Engaging,Empathetic,Desperate,Educated,Leader,Insecure

    Additional Character Details

    Name: Joe Garcia, will stop at nothing to get it back. Danny finds himself on the run and in danger. With the help of the love of his life, Garcia's daughter Jean, Danny must solve the mystery of the artifact's history, face his own painful and tangled past, and learn how to make peace with his future

    Age: Jean--25

    Gender: Female

    Role: Logical

    Key Traits: Modest,Aspiring,Charming,Confident,Sexy,Faithful,Engaging,Gracious,Educated

    Additional Character Details

    Name: (Joe Garcia) Danny thinks he accidentally breaks an artifact in the storeroom and decides to take it with him to hide the evidence. However, the artifact is far more than it first seems: it not only has historical importance but his boss, Joe Garcia, will stop at nothing to get it back.

    Age: 50

    Gender: Male

    Role: antagonist

    Key Traits: Aggressive,Criminal,Unapologetic

    Additional Character Details

    The author has not yet written this




    A runaway, former foster child accidentally discovers an illegal, international scheme selling rare, historical artifacts to the highest bidder. His circumstances lead him into hiding, then to Mexico as he tries to outrun both the bad guys, and the trauma of his past.

    Overall Rating


    Point of View


    Narrative Elements

    Authors Writing Style: FAIR

    Characterization: FAIR

    Commerciality: FAIR

    Franchise Potential: FAIR

    Pace: FAIR

    Premise: GOOD

    Structure: FAIR

    Theme: FAIR

    Accuracy of Book Profile

    The Book Profile leans a bit too heavily on Danny's time in foster care, and not enough on his current plight. Additionally, some of the categories are incomplete and/or cut off, and all references to personal messages should be eliminated.

    Draw of Story

    Danny's escape from Ida is a high-stakes, high-tension hook, but the time jumps that come after it feel rushed. Overall, it feels like the meat of the story starts when Danny gets locked in store room and first stumbles upon the artifact. Here, the reader is irrevocably engaged and saddled with suspense.

    Possible Drawbacks

    The time jumps are a bit confusing, and make it feel like the story isn't quite as fleshed out as it could be. It may be worth considering starting in Danny's present day, and telling of his escape from foster care in flashback to serve as motivation for his present-day actions and motivations. Additionally, the plot line itself sometimes moves too quickly, and it runs the risk of impacting the tension levels. For instance, Mariana tells her mother that she feels something terrible is going to happen, and in the very next scene the police are at Julia's door. Giving such emotionally charged moments a bit more room to breathe would likely help preserve the suspense, but also enhance the story flow.

    Use of Special Effects


    Primary Hook of Story

    The historical notes about Jalisco, Mexico and the presence of such treasured artifacts is a great hook. As is Danny, an orphaned, former foster child, unknowingly implicating himself in something so much bigger than him. It's easy to root for Danny as he works to outrun his trauma and Joe Garcia's men. Additionally, the ensemble cast takes some of the pressure off of Danny's character, and allows for the exploration of relationships and growth in various subplots.

    Fanbase Potential

    CAUGHT IN A TANGLED LOOP could appeal to history buffs, action-lovers and those who enjoy emotional journeys and strong character growth. This isn't quite young adult material, but it's not strictly for mature audiences either. It lands somewhere in the middle, with an approachable, wide target market.

    Awards Potential

    With an ensemble cast in an emotionally-charged story like this one, there could be some awards potential. Depending on how Danny is portrayed on-screen and how much of his trauma is aired and how effectively it reaches the audience, the actor could face some leading nominations. Additionally, Julia's portrayal as a wife and mother turned would-be murderer could earn supporting cast noms.

    Envisioned Budget


    Similar Films/TV Series


    What’s New About the Story

    The inclusion of Mexican culture works really well and helps to separate this story from others of its kind, especially because Danny remains on the outskirts of it until the end of the last act. Making it even more unique could mean diving more deeply into the Mexican culture, and using some aspects of it to motivate the characters more. Additionally, giving more weight to the artifacts themselves throughout the story and not just at the end, may help to keep an audience hooked. Diving more into where they came from, and under what circumstances, could help better bridge the gap between Mexico and Texas and add even more stakes while enhancing the tension and making the story feel more well-rounded and complete.

    Lead Characters

    Each of the characters wants something different, but their desires help link them together in culture, circumstance and community. Danny wants to overcome his trauma and build a life with Jean, Jean wants Danny and her father's acceptance, Paul wants to join the priesthood and Mariana wants to finally tell her mother about her father's abuse. They encourage each other, assist each other and care for each other which makes them feel connected throughout the story, even as their paths diverge.

    Uniqueness of Story

    Though CAUGHT IN A TANGLED LOOP has potential, it's not quite a rare gem. The pacing feels rushed overall and the characters themselves not quite developed enough to make this feel like a home run. There are many moving parts to the story - Danny's trauma, his relationship with Jean, Joe Garcia's crime syndicate, Mariana's sexual abuse - but the various plot lines don't seem to come together at the end, making it feel like more a skeleton than fully-developed material. Allowing the scenes to breathe a bit more, and further exploring the characters motivations and emotions may be one way to elevate this.

    Possible Formats

    Film - Streaming, Film - Studio, TV Series - Limited Run / Mini-Series

    Analyst Recommendation



    Generally, it feels like there's more work to be done both in character arcs and plot development. The beats are all here and there is more than enough material to work with, but it doesn't feel ready to elevate quite yet. Expanding on dramatic, emotionally charged scenes and doing a deep dive into character psyches might help this feel more complete, and well-rounded overall.

    Tips for Improvement

    Better developing a through line to connect the cast with the plot line would help the story feel more succinct, and well-rounded. Additionally, a deep dive into character emotion would help the characters feel more three-dimensional, and less wooden on the page. Finally, allowing the more dramatic scenes adequate time to breathe would give an audience more time to engage with the material, and ensure that they're hooked from start to finish.


    After a traumatic childhood in foster care, DANNY faces danger when he accidentally discovers an international crime syndicate that sells stolen Mexican artifacts to the highest bidder. On the run from both the criminals and his trauma, he works to find his way in the world with the help of his friends and his community. After years of substance abuse lands him in a hospital, he rediscovers his faith and fulfills his destiny.

    What We Liked

    Trauma, high-stakes and action/adventure power this based-on-a-true-story tale about overcoming one's past and finding a future. When an escaped, former foster child finds himself in the face of danger, it forces him to address and overcome his trauma in hopes of survival. Audiences root for him as he works to find his way in the world, and finds community, culture and friendship in those who aid him along the way.

    Film: CAUGHT IN A TANGLED LOOP would work well as a feature because it's a high-stakes, plot driven story with enough character potential to keep an audience hooked for the length of a film. It has emotional trauma, an international crime syndicate and enough domestic drama to sustain an audience for several hours and provides us with a finite, complete ending that leaves little left to question.

    TV: CAUGHT IN A TANGLED LOOP could work well as a limited series, because it has a natural end point. All of the characters have grown or changed in some way, and Danny has vowed to fulfill his destiny in Mexico. The conclusion is satisfying but more than that, it feels finite. The only unanswered question lies with Joe Garcia's whereabouts, but this is overshadowed by Danny overcoming his trauma and discovering himself with help from his friends and his community.

    Key points: Ensemble cast with a wide appeal; Plot-driven, high-stakes; Plenty of room for character growth and change; Wide target audience; Slightly historical, with notes of adventure and suspense.


    In 1965, DANNY is beaten and abused by his foster mother, IDA. He vows to run away. In 1967, Danny escapes to an old shed and finds the money he’s stashed away for two years. In 1973, Danny and his girlfriend, JEAN, are keeping their relationship a secret from her father, JOE GARCIA. After getting suspicious about unopened boxes in the storage room of the shop that employs him, Danny gets locked in and is discovered by EDUARDO and JUAN. They pursue him, and he grabs a mysterious artifact. When Juan finds him, Danny takes his box cutter and stabs him. Danny confides in his friend, MARIANA, about his run-in with Juan. Mariana tries to convince him to go to the police, but Danny refuses. They marvel over the icon, which Mariana identifies as the rain god of the Aztecs. Danny entrusts Mariana with the artifact and goes into hiding. Danny hides in his biological father’s former fishing camper. Mariana fills Paul and Jean in on Danny’s situation. Jean remembers overhearing her father on the phone with someone from New York discussing the icon and the three deduce that Joe has been selling stolen artifacts.

    Joe gives Eduardo and Juan 24 hours to return with both the artifact and Danny. On one of many trips to Jalisco, Mexico, Eduardo and Juan travel through a dense forest, to meet EMILIO SANCHEZ. Natives place artifacts in a false truck bottom and the men continue on their journey to a safe house. Eduardo and Juan make plans to sneak off and party in the middle of the night. While inside an exotic dance club, a MAN overhears them having a conversation about supplying drugs. He alerts the Feds and puts a tracker on their car. Jean tracks Danny to the fishing camper and convinces him to move to a hotel. Danny confesses to killing Juan to Paul, and Paul alerts him that Juan is alive. He asks Danny to put his trust in God, but Danny finds it impossible. Paul decides to tell his parents that he wishes to join the priesthood. Mariana tells her mother, JULIA, that she’s been sexually abused by her father. JULIA vows to seek revenge. She finds her husband’s gun, turns off the lights and waits. Before she can enact revenge, policemen arrive at her door to tell her that Mariana has been killed in a botched robbery. They present her with the icon and allow her to take it. The FBI tracks Eduardo and Juan, as Jean calls her mother to inform her about her husband’s illegal artifacts. News breaks that Eduardo and Juan have been arrested, but the Joe Garcia is still at large. The news also reports Mariana’s death. Julia’s husband, SALADO, returns home and Julia surprises him. Chaos ensues and Julia shoots him in the thigh, and then shoots off his ring finger before losing consciousness. The police arrive and arrest Salado. Paul prepares to go to Europe to practice priesthood. And still on the run from Joe, Danny decides to escape to Mexico. While driving, he grieves over Jean breaking up with him. Danny stays in Mexico until 1977. In a cantina, he is approached by two of Joe Garcia’s men. He narrowly escapes them, again, and passes out drunk in a desert on his way back to Texas. Danny wakes up in a hospital and finds himself on Ativan. He finds Paul, who works as a part-time spiritual advisor and counselor. With Paul’s help, Danny begins to find faith again. Danny begins seeing DR. PHILLIPS to explore his traumatic past, and he urges Danny to use his past to help others.

    Julia wishes to speak with Danny. She presents him with a brown satchel, full of Salado’s money and the icon. She tells him that his biological mother was a Huicho descendant of a prince, and three generations removed from Montezuma. Julia tells him that his mother sent her documents and made her promise not to tell Danny. After his father abused her, she was forced to flee but never stopped loving her son. She again urges him to travel to Jalisco. Danny reveals his travel plans to his friends. Finally, we see Danny on a plane to Mexico; tired, but ready to fulfill his destiny.

    About The Author

    Audrey Clare grew up in St. Louis, Missouri before settling in west Texas. A painter turned writer, her art has been featured in galleries, office spaces and private collections. Her short story, 'A Spirit Nearby' was published in Unity Magazine.