THRILLER, ACTION, FANTASY

Jessie and Johnny are kidnapped and their parents disappear at a car crash in Mexico. The twins are rescued by their Uncle who turns them into vampires to fulfill a prophecy. Along with his own werewolf son, Johnathan send the trio to Europe to prepare to fight evil vampires and complete his vision of saving the world.

FAIR

THIRD PERSON

Authors Writing Style: FAIR

Characterization: FAIR

Commerciality: FAIR

Franchise Potential: GOOD

Pace: FAIR

Premise: FAIR

Structure: FAIR

Theme: FAIR

Yes the book profile does describe the story for the most part. It may be better to define the fairy tale details in the short summary as specific to the narrative rather than leaving it as allusions. Listing the antagonist as one of the four main characters rather than Michael may also be beneficial to better reflect the breakdown of the narrative.

The confusion in the kidnapping is palpable and the unexpected vampire angle rather than a strictly action story makes good supernatural surprise twist.

There is a shift not just in character pov but from first to third person. It is a bit jarring and hard to follow especially when in the cell Jessie's and Johnny's thoughts are in first person but later the same character's POV is in third person omniscient instead. Changing characters as the main focus is fine for an ensemble story but having parallel structure between first or third person would make the narrative more cohesive.

THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

The hook is that the teenage twins are saved from kidnapping only to discover they are chosen to fight evil vampires after becoming vampires themselves and having a prominent uncle vampire.

There is a distinct vampire subgenre within fantasy action films as to which the market hasn't been too saturated with lately so this could have a decent size audience. However, it would still be smaller than a normal action film due to its cross-genre approach of vampires.

Given the dual elements of supernatural vampires and werewolves along with the action genre, this is unlikely to get nominated in the prestige circuit but may find itself in certain popular awards circuit categories.

LARGE BUDGET

TWILIGHT SAGA, UNDERWORLD, TRUE BLOOD, SKINWALKERS

The originality stems from the werewolf prophecy that the twin vampires must fight evil along with their cousin, a guardian wolf. Making the wolf element clearer earlier and giving perspective to the wolf may help equally integrate the wolf element more consistently.

Jessie is a it naive but agressive and decisive. Johnny is calmer and more proper but also loyal. Johnathan is selfless and helpful.

There are unique vampire elements in how the werewolf saga is combined but the characters lack some development to feel fully three-dimensional with maximum emotional investment.

Film - Streaming, Film - Indie, Film - Studio

WORK IN PROGRESS

While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

Adding clear inner conflicts to all of the characters will help create further investment in the prophecy outside of its external morality and action elements. By showing their motivations as individuals rather than just as responses to external stimuli, the goals will be strengthened as a team effort.