ACTION, FANTASY, DRAMA

Leah and her mother must go on the run from a mysterious shadowy threat that tries to kill Leah. They end up arriving at a lighthouse where for the first time Leah meets others who have psychic abilities like her. The two immortals and some scientists team up with Leah and her mother in order to defeat the threat, however not all survive the final showdown.

FAIR

THIRD PERSON

Authors Writing Style: FAIR

Characterization: FAIR

Commerciality: FAIR

Franchise Potential: GOOD

Pace: FAIR

Premise: FAIR

Structure: FAIR

Theme: FAIR

For the most part the book profile does reflect the narrative although the development pitch is somewhat confusing. However the character details list Lachlan as the protagonist and do not include Leah and yet Leah is the focus of the narrative itself, logline, short summary and development pitch. By making Leah part of the character description and or changing the profile to be centered around Lachlan, the information would be more cohesive. The development pitch could also focus more on the book at hand rather than the series, as the information is not apparent to an audience who just experiences the single book rather than the series. Talking about specifically unique action moments could also help this section in order to sell why the narrative is original.

Leah's doesn't understand her powers and thus when she is thrust into the supernatural world she is both an under-prepared child but also relieved to have others like her so she is not alone.

Sometimes when the characters are waiting for conflict to occur, the point of view switches while waiting for the same moment. This slows down the pacing and sticking to one perspective per mini-conflict before the big battle and in reflecting on the events would cause less dips in momentum.

THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

The hook is that Leah is both running from a threat and searching for a serial killer with the team of psychics. She is supported by powerful women and immortal men that bring complex backstories with each character.

This could have a medium fanbase given it is an action film, but also has supernatural elements. The gaelic elements provide a fresh take on the supernatural genre and generate a bigger audience but could also fluctuate as niche.

Given its action and fantasy cross-genre appeal, this is unlikely to garner serious awards circuit nominations but might gain attention in smaller awards circuits for its depictions of psychic phenomenon.

LARGE BUDGET

THE GIFT, MEDIUM, SILENCE OF THE LAMBS, ODD THOMAS, RAWHEAD REX

The originality stems from Leah being a child amongst a group of adults fighting a supernatural villain. She is treated appropriately as a novice and a child but also respected for her power and not talked down to even though she is younger and inexperienced.

Leah is resilient and has a very keep perception for her age even outside of being a psychic. Lachlan is wise and self-sacrificing and seems a bit weathered by description in comparison to his normal all-powerful self.

The fantasy elements are definitely distinct, but the main plot of fighting evil magic is pretty standard although integrating Leah as a child with the group of adults is somewhat novel. Either focusing on one perspective of the events or lengthening the chapter break ups between characters might help streamline the pacing and make the narrative more cohesive.

Film - Streaming, Film - Indie, Film - Studio

WORK IN PROGRESS

While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

By changing some of the structure to either focus on one character perspective or create larger portions of the chapter break up dedicated to a single perspective for longer, the reflections and action would have a faster pace. The characters' inner conflicts would also be easier to follow with shortened gaps between each time they are the focus and have longer to develop if retained as the perspective for a greater period of time.