Stolen
Submision Type
book
Logline
A suspense story about an antagonist who claims his twin brother is not who he says he is and alleges he is the true Jodi McCain. The protagonist Jolene Conroy works to prove Jodi’s innocence when she hires a private detective to help her reveal the true identity of Clayton and Jodi McCain.
Genre
Suspense/Thriller,Crime
Short Summary
Jolene Conroy lives in Southern California where she meets Police Officer Jodi McCain after being pulled over for a traffic violation. She works as a photographer and a writer after losing her husband in a tragic car accident. She visits her sister in Montana where she and Dillon had been married.
Setting
Contemporary Southern California
Based on a True Story
No
Plot - Premise
Overcoming Monster/Villain
Plot - Other Elements
Twist,Happy Ending
Mature Audience Themes
Extreme Violence
Main Character Details
Name: Jolene Conroy
Age: 40
Gender: Other
Role: Protagonist
Key Traits: Faithful,Honorable,Visionary,Romantic,Sophisticated
Additional Character Details
Name: Jodi McCain
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Role: Protagonist
Key Traits: Complex,Honorable,Masculine,Gracious,Patriotic
Additional Character Details
Name: Clayton McCain
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Role: antagonist
Key Traits: Aggressive,Crazy,Criminal
Additional Character Details
Name: Vicky
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Role: mentor
Key Traits: Adventurous,Aspiring,Charming,Engaging,Outspoken,Leader
Genre
THRILLER, SUSPENSE, DRAMA
Brief
Jolene lost her husband in a fatal car crash and is trying to move on. She meets Jodi, a man who she feels she can build a future with but Jodi begins to act out of character. Clayton, Jodi's twin brother has been pretending to be Jodi, causing havoc for the know pregnant Jodi as she tries to figure out who she is really living with.
Overall Rating
FAIR
Narrative Elements
Authors Writing Style: FAIR
Characterization: GOOD
Commerciality: FAIR
Franchise Potential: GOOD
Pace: FAIR
Premise: GOOD
Structure: GOOD
Theme: GOOD
Accuracy of Book Profile
The book profile does not accurately reflect the book. The profile does not mention Jolene who is the main character to the story. It focuses on Jodi and his twin brother, Clayton, but that is all in relation to Jolene.
Draw of Story
The story begins with the tragedy Jolene is dealing with and working through. She is a resilient character who is obviously in love with her first husband. Jolene finds someone special and finally becomes a mother.
Possible Drawbacks
The writing does not flow which makes it hard to digest. The story doesn't seem plausible at times. How can no one know who the real Jodi is especially Jolene. There would be things the real Jodi would know that would prove who he is. This isn't science fiction where memories are replicated. The reasoning needs to be more realistic.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY DOES NOT RELY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
The hook is that Jolene has found love with Jodi after the loss of her husband but she isn't sure the man she is living with is Jodi or his evil twin Clayton.
Fanbase Potential
This would not have a large fanbase. There isn't anything new about the story and it feels completely out of date.
Awards Potential
This does not have awards potential. The story lacks depth and ingenuity. The characters do not stand out and neither does the plot.
Envisioned Budget
MEDIUM BUDGET
Similar Films/TV Series
HUSH, FACE OFF
What’s New About the Story
The story is not original. There have been many storylines based on stolen identities. It has been done many times over and this story does not add anything new. The story needs to be more realistic.
Lead Characters
The lead character doesn't stand out but has many admirable qualities. She is determined and intuitive. Jolene doesn't give up on Jodi and fights to get him back and have her family.
Uniqueness of Story
This is an average suspense thriller which ends on a happy note. It could be improved by more dramatic events. There is murder but it doesn't feel as important because the audience isn't invested in those character. It would have been interesting to see Jodi and Clayton as children.
Possible Formats
Film - Streaming, TV Series - Streaming
Analyst Recommendation
WORK IN PROGRESS
Justification
While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.
Tips for Improvement
For this to be a consider, the story needs to be more unique. It was extremely predictable and didn't hold my attention. A suspenseful story should grip the audience but all of the twist have been seen before.