The Ghost in Maritime America
GENRE
ACTION COMEDY DRAMA SATIRE FAMILY RELIGIOUS SUSPENSE/THRILLER
Core Theme
REMEMBRANCE
TIME PERIOD
Contemporary
COMPARABLE TITLES
THIS IS WHERE I LEAVE YOU
CHARACTER LIST
JENNY – LATE 50S, THE SISTER OF THE DECEASED, SHE ORGANIZES AND RUNS HIS UNUSUAL GIVEAWAY FUNERAL.
SALLY – LATE 60S, THE EX-WIFE OF THE DECEASED. SHE HAS MIXED FEELINGS ABOUT HER FORMER HUSBAND.
DAVIS – THE DECEASED, HE HAS REQUESTED THAT HIS THINGS BE GIVEN AWAY IN A RAFFLE AT HIS FUNERAL.
JAYLENE – THE DECEASED DAUGHTER OF DAVIS AND SALLY. SHE WAS A TALENTED ARTIST.
MIKE – A CLOSER FRIEND OF DAVIS WHO HELPS JENNY ORGANIZE THE FUNERAL.
SMOKEY – A LIFELONG FRIEND OF DAVIS AND AN ECCENTRIC.
Logline
The story is about a funeral where all the property of a popular sailing boat captain is given away that includes his boats, artwork, beach house and ranch to his surprised invited guests through drawings. Drama, humor, white elephant exchanges create an urgency for their own funerals.
Genre
Action,Comedy,Drama,Satire,Family,Religious,Suspense/Thriller
Target Audiences
Age: 18-34,35-54,55+
Target Gender: Universal
Setting
Texas coast, or any coastal community, American Legion bar and ranch
Based on a True Story
No
Starting Description
A 91 year old WWII veteran walks into the American Legion bar and is informed that Davis Sinclair, a close friend was killed at Dagger Point in the Aransas Wildlife Refuge while taking pictures of the endangered whooping cranes, by a rattlesnake. Everyone in the bar is stunned at the news.
Ending Description
The ex-wife, sister and friends will use the homemade casket that looks like a boat that the daughter made in future coastal maritime parades because it will promote Davis Sinclair as the ghost in Maritime America, named after his sailboat in the harbor.
Pitch Adaptation
SCENE 1: American Legion Bar, present time. Same friends gather for social drinking and inform a late widower, that Davis was killed up at Dagger Point while taking pictures. Everyone is bummed out until Alice at the bar says she signed Davis Sinclair's will and that all his property will be given away at this funeral through drawings. Everyone gets excited about his property giveaway which includes, boats, jackalope,beach house, furniture, ranch included. They speculate if Sally, the ex-wife will be invited by Davis' strong-willed sister Jenny who will lead the funeral service at the boat barn / Quonset hut at the ranch. SCENE 2: THE RANCH. The guests arrive, seated and given raffle tickets. Jenny calls out the winning numbers and guests pick a box, envelope or gifts on tables by the homemade casket, that Davis' Sinclair late daughter made in high school woodshop that looks like a boat. The gift winners tell dramatic or humorous stories.Sally, the ex-wife wins the ranch, but decides to give it up for a special undisclosed gift which turns out to be the casket her daughter made. Many gifts appear that her daughter made causes drama and suspense. THERE ARE ONLY TWO SCENES, THE LEGION BAR (ANY COASTAL BAR) AND THE FUNERAL SCENE.
WGA Number
The author has not yet written this
Mature Audience Themes
The author has not yet written this
Plot - Other Elements
Meaningful Message,Twist
Plot - Premise
Other,Quest
Main Character Details
Name: Davis Sinclair
Age: late 60s
Gender: Male
Role: Antagonist
Key Traits: Adventurous,Aggressive,Charming,Confident,Crazy,Decisive,Empathetic,Engaging,Educated,Leader,Sophisticated,Sarcastic,Visionary,Funny,Blunt,Religious,Gracious,Outspoken,Selfless
Additional Character Details
Name: Jenny Sinclair Hawkins
Age: Late 50s
Gender: Female
Role: Mentor
Key Traits: Funny,Aggressive,Complex,Confident,Strong Moral Code,Leader,Honorable,Gracious,Faithful,Empathetic,Decisive
Additional Character Details
Name: Sally Sinclair
Age: late 60s
Gender: Female
Role: emotional
Key Traits: Clumsy,Empathetic,Gracious,Greedy,Naive,Underdog,Blunt,Funny,Secretive,Unapologetic
Additional Character Details
Name: Mike
Age: same age as Davis, late 60s
Gender: Male
Role: sidekick
Key Traits: Funny,Decisive,Obedient,Charming,Gracious,Flexible,Skillful,Heroic,Leader,Unapologetic
Supplemental Materials
Information not completed
Genre
COMEDY, DRAMA
Brief
When Davis Sinclair dies unexpectedly his sister Jenny disperses his worldly goods in a raffle with his closest friends and family. Through the objects and stories they tell they find a way to remember him by keeping his spirit alive as a ghost in their future festivities.
Overall Rating
FAIR
Narrative Elements
Authors Writing Style: FAIR
Characterization: FAIR
Commerciality: FAIR
Franchise Potential: FAIR
Pace: FAIR
Premise: GOOD
Structure: FAIR
Theme: GOOD
Accuracy of Book Profile
It's accurate.
Draw of Story
The setup seems to hint that something dramatic will happen at the funeral. However, everything goes fine. Without that there isn't a clear hook to keep people engaged.
Possible Drawbacks
It's obvious the purpose of the conversations in the bar is to give exposition to the audience and unnatural dialogue results. The long repetition of the raffle requires patience rather than providing engagement.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY DOES NOT RELY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
The setup seems to hint that something dramatic will happen at the funeral. However, everything goes fine. Without that there isn't a clear hook to keep people engaged.
Fanbase Potential
Not likely. At its heart this is a story about death and remembrance which could hit home with people of a certain age and with those who have recently dealt with loss. However, it's unlikely to appeal outside that group and some within those groups may not want either the sorrow or comedy this employs.
Awards Potential
Not in its current form. If this showed Davis' life, perhaps through flashbacks or episodes, it might find the ground to make a compelling drama. However, as a list of bequests it's not going to resonate with audiences or awards voters.
Envisioned Budget
LOW BUDGET
Similar Films/TV Series
THIS IS WHERE I LEAVE YOU
What’s New About the Story
There's an interesting storytelling device here, but it is not being used to tell a compelling story. These memories don't resonate because we don't know this person who died. This story needs to show us through action what it currently tries to tell us through monologues. As it is this works better as an advertisement for a type of funeral than a piece of drama.
Lead Characters
The profile lists Daniel as the lead character, which stands out, but a dead character makes a poor lead. Jenny is the character who drives this story and Sally is the character who seems to experience the most change as a result. This story needs to be about the living.
Uniqueness of Story
No. This script serves as a memorial for Davis, but it doesn't offer much to an audience that doesn't know him. It repeatedly tells us how great he was, but that's about all. It needs to achieve something larger.
Possible Formats
Film
Analyst Recommendation
WORK IN PROGRESS
Justification
This is a collection of small anecdotes that don't add up to a larger story. There is no central conflict to resolve or character growth that happens. There's no beginning middle and end. It's a montage which becomes repetitive and tiresome.
Tips for Improvement
There needs to be dramatic tension and character growth.
Brief
When Davis Sinclair dies unexpectedly his sister Jenny disperses his worldly goods in a raffle with his closest friends and family. Through the objects and stories they tell they find a way to remember him by keeping his spirit alive as a ghost in their future festivities.
What We Liked
The Ghost is Maritime America shows a unique way of dealing with the end of a person's life. It presents an interesting idea for what to do when someone passes away and how to remember them.
Film: As a film “Ghost” has the potential to tell a human story in a unique and surprising way. An ordinary man's life is revealed to be rich, joyous and tragic through the stories shown in the objects and loved ones he's left behind. Though death may come for us all we have the ability through our friends and their memories to live on.
Key points: Underserved audience. Budget friendly. Emotional touchstones. Unique narrative structure. Mixes comedy and drama.
Synopsis
Friends of Davis Sinclair drink at their favorite bar, an American legion, recounting his life and death through his possessions which they learn are to be given away at his funeral. Davis was a photographer, sailing instructor, fisherman, he was divorced and his daughter Jaylene died on horseback shortly after college. They reminiscence about the ways he brought them together. Many are Copano Irregulars, people from all walks of life who enjoy the sunset over Copano Bay. They drink a toast to his memory.
An a Quonset Hut that Davis built all his world possessions will be given away in a raffle. His sister Jenny officiates. Jenkins wins the fishing gear. Rose his wood duck and Christmas tree. When Mary Ann wins a trophy Sally, his ex-wife asks for it for sentimental reasons and gets it. Amber wins the car title for old Corolla and tells a story about fraudulent writing contest Davis entered. Leal wins ear swabs and a restaurant gift card, then tells story about lipstick and fishing lures.
Al wins a sunfish sailboat and travel trailer. Tico wins a horse, has to think about keeping it. Tells a story about the jackass award where Davis got a corrupt city manager fired. Brenda wins a sweatshirt, talks about spicy food and the 'breast fest' food and skinny dipping festival. Rogan wins a robe and viking helmet from past Halloween costumes.
Old friend Smokey Jones wins a coconut. A past white elephant gift. Paulette, a Copano Irregular wins the beach house. Swede gets a telescope, bird bath and binoculars. Gives first two away. JD come away with an art collection and scavenger hunt trophy.
Roland, a lifelong friend wins a skiff (boat). He gives it to Smokey because he's too old to handle a boat. Ann gets fishing leader, tells a story about Davis catching a shark. Roe gets a horny toad. Story about Davis taking someone to the hospital. Russell wins signs Jaylene made of places Davis traveled. Jo Ann wins the tractor. People grumble until she suggests the Copano irregulars can use it in the Maritime America parade.
Alice wins cowboy hat she doesn't want. Smithers wins a musket, trades it for some hats. Doris gets a laminated scorpion which she doesn't want and a sailboat she can't sail. Mike offers to teach her how to sail. Pat wins the famous stuffed jackalope. Finally Sally the ex-wife wins the ranch, but it's split with Jenny. Sally doesn't want to split the ranch instead chooses an unknown 'special' gift, which turns out to be the wicker sailboat Jaylene made, in which the casket lays. Jenny opens the casket and pulls out a wax head of Davis and cowboy boots. There's no body in the casket, his ashes are in the boots. One last prank from the deceased. They play a voice message from Davis and say a prayer.
Sally has a moment alone with the wicker casket where she talks to Jaylene and Davis. Jenny comes back in. Everyone wants to borrow the wicker casket, they decide they should use it in the parade. Davis loved pranks why not use his boots and hat with the wicker casket to make a ghost. The Ghost of the Maritime Parade.