SUSPENSE, THRILLER, ROMANCE, MATURE AUDIENCE, RELIGION, DRAMA

Manny and Deshawn are detectives working a gruesome murder case with the help of Alex, a psychologist who is recovering from trauma from a similar case. The trio’s investigation leads them to discover the murder is linked to multiple murders of men by a young female. They catch the female and find she is mentally unstable and pregnant, complicating her prosecution. With the final outcome of the case uncertain, Manny and Deshawn are sent disturbing photos that suggest the they were being followed during the investigation and that Deshawn’s family is in danger.

FAIR

THIRD PERSON

Authors Writing Style: FAIR

Characterization: GOOD

Commerciality: FAIR

Franchise Potential: FAIR

Pace: FAIR

Premise: FAIR

Structure: FAIR

Theme: FAIR

The book profile accurately reflects the book.

Opening on the crime scene draws the reader into the plot immediately by thrusting them into the investigation with the main characters from the opening page.

At times the author gets too flowery with descriptions and this inevitably leads to poor similes such as ”dropped it like it had Ebola on it” (in reference to an object being held by a character). Also, the story doesn't have a satisfying climax or resolution, ending on a cliffhanger.

THE STORY RELIES A LITTLE BIT ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

The story follows characters who narrowly escaped tragedy at the hands of a serial killer; mustering the willpower to push on and investigate another case involving a serial killer. There is good internal/external obstacles to overcome in the story.

I don't see this story having a large fanbase solely due to the fact that it doesn't reinvent the wheel for suspense/thriller detective stories. The characters are also not compelling enough to attract a large audience who want to follow their journey.

If adapted, I don't see this having awards potential due to the plot that is unresolved, lack of a real thematic message, and some of the main characters being underdeveloped.

LOW BUDGET

FILMS AND TV SHOWS SUCH AS ”SE7EN”, ”CRIMINAL MINDS”, AND ”SILENCE OF THE LAMBS” ARE SIMILAR TO THIS STORY DUE TO THE SHARED TONE, PLOT POINTS INVOLVING CHARACTERS, AND SUBJECT MATTER.

There is nothing that stands out as unique in this story. A twist on the plot such as having Alex’s trauma being something she experienced alone and others have to take her word on it would have been interesting. This would create more conflict in the romance subplot between Alex and Manny if she has to deal with overcoming trauma and convincing everyone else what she went through was real. The story would stand out more if it ventured to deviate from common tropes associated with this genre.

The lead characters Manny and Alex stand out for their romance as a means to overcome trauma. Unfortunately, it does not stand out in a good way because this romance takes up a good portion of the story and does not advance the plot or reveal anything new about the characters.

This is not a rare gem. Improving the characterization of characters like Deshawn, focusing the plot on the main conflict, and taking risks with the plot points would help in making this story stand out.

TV Series - Network, TV Series - Cable, TV Series - Limited Run / Mini-Series, TV Series - Streaming

WORK IN PROGRESS

While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

A change to the plot that distinguishes it from other gritty detective stories and giving more depth to some characters would go a long way in making this a story to recommend for adaptation.