Chessboard of Destiny
ACTION DRAMA WAR HISTORICAL FICTION SUSPENSE/THRILLER POLITICAL CRIME DETECTIVE
20th Century (multiple decades),2000s
Eugenia Jenny Williams
Submision Type
book
Logline
• Collecting evidence and witnesses for the identification and conviction of a Nazi War criminal, presently living in Australia. • Romani people in Transylvania, displacement and persecution, emigration and life in Australian Alps building the Hydroelectric scheme.
Genre
Action,Drama,War,Historical Fiction,Suspense/Thriller,Political,Crime,Detective
Short Summary
The Gypsy busker plays his harmonica, reminiscing and observing the passers-by. In the nearby butcher shop a drama unfolds: A customer recognises the man as a Fieldweber in Auschwitz. The Police and Interpol steps in. Two English lawyers are commissioned to collect the convincing material.
Setting
Australia, Transylvania, Auschwitz, Eastern Europe- ex USSR countries
Based on a True Story
No
Plot - Premise
Overcoming Monster/Villain,Voyage and Return,Tragedy,Internal Journey/Rebirth
Plot - Other Elements
Happy Ending,Philosophical Questions,Meaningful Message
Mature Audience Themes
Information not completed
Main Character Details
Name: Layosh Lovash
Age: 70+
Gender: Male
Role: Protagonist
Key Traits: Romantic,Uneducated,Modest,Complex,Desperate,Insecure,Empathetic,Faithful,Skillful
Additional Character Details
Name: Hans Hoffstern/alias Hans Schmidt
Age: 70+
Gender: Male
Role: Antagonist
Key Traits: Aggressive,Criminal,Leader,Manipulative,Patriotic,Villainous,Power Hungry,Educated,Unapologetic,Secretive
Additional Character Details
Name: Ivor Thomas
Age: 35+
Gender: Male
Role: logical
Key Traits: Strong Moral Code,Romantic,Modest,Confident,Empathetic,Educated,Honorable,Sexy,Skillful
Additional Character Details
Name: Misha
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Role: emotional
Key Traits: Engaging,Educated,Skillful,Romantic,Empathetic,Faithful,Sophisticated,Charming
Genre
POLITICS, WAR, DRAMA, ROMANCE
Brief
Two lawyer investigators must go to Moldova in order to confirm the identity of an accuser in order to persecute a Nazi war criminal. Back home in their native Australia, the case brings together old lives that didn't know how close they were connected in their new lives. The holocaust's effects in both Jewish and Romani families are still felt almost sixty years later even though the victims and their descendants are half a world away.
Overall Rating
GOOD
Narrative Elements
Authors Writing Style: FAIR
Characterization: FAIR
Commerciality: GOOD
Franchise Potential: FAIR
Pace: FAIR
Premise: GOOD
Structure: FAIR
Theme: FAIR
Accuracy of Book Profile
The book profile's logline is key words about conflicts dealt within the narrative, but the logline would be more eye catching as a two sentence summary of the main idea of the story. The development pitch is very in depth and expresses the narrative while the short summaries second paragraph is slightly too vague as it is unclear who is the protagonist.
Draw of Story
The story's setting in 2002 Australia is an unexpected place for a war criminal from WWII to be discovered and this makes proving the case complicated. The lawyers sent to Moldova are relatable as fishes out of water trying to recover an almost lost history in an exotic location.
Possible Drawbacks
There is a lot of focus on the investigator's travel adventures rather than the actual trial of the war criminal and their past connection to the accuser. This makes the genre and theme confusing as to whether it is about human connection, a courtroom case or a historical frame story.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY RELIES A LITTLE BIT ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
The hook is that a Nazi war criminal is found hiding in Australia in 2002 and he is recognized at a bakery by one of his victims. The investigation as the frame story is also interesting as it allows a revisit to Europe without the overuse of flashbacks but also a fresh perspective on the location and history.
Fanbase Potential
This could have a medium to large size fanbase depending on if the narrative is adapted to a court room prestige drama, historical period piece with a frame story, or made more into a roadtrip movie of the investigators in Europe.
Awards Potential
This may possibly have awards potential due to the complicated procedures of prosecuting Nazi war criminals in the 21st century and the web of ethics it entails. These types of issues generally gain recognition and the older actors who would in habit the elderly parts are usually esteemed professionals with a history of nominations.
Envisioned Budget
LARGE BUDGET
Similar Films/TV Series
WOMAN IN GOLD, DENIAL, THE GOOD LIAR, THE DEBT, THE PEOPLE VS. FRITZ BAUER, THE STRANGER
What’s New About the Story
The originality stems from combining Romani culture with the well known Jewish elements of the Holocaust. The use of a chessboard to show how everyone is connected could be clearer or more consistent to make the semi-frequent use more meaningful.
Lead Characters
Ivor is on the cusp of starting to feel like settling down before he receives the war criminal case. He is a capable lawyer who is skillful in more ways than just his profession. Lovash is a wistful romantic filled with old world charm.
Uniqueness of Story
This is neither completely an investigation nor is it a historical drama. It is almost as if there are two different narratives that are eventually intertwined but when focused, the lawyer's personal life seems unrelated. If taken in the direction of solely focuses on persecuting the criminal in 2002 Australia from the perspectives of the parties involved rather than second hand through the investigation this would be more original.
Possible Formats
Film - Indie, Film - Streaming, Film - Studio
Analyst Recommendation
WORK IN PROGRESS
Justification
While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.
Tips for Improvement
Rather than telling about the past in interrogating the victims to prove the identities of the accused and the accuser, the narrative might have more tension if the story is shown from the first hand perspective more often. The romantic subplots of Ivor as less of a focus would also help clarify the genre. The story seems split between the travels and the re-connections back in Australia, so combining them more closely would likely create a more cohesive string of rising actions leading to the case.