Book Cover



J Paton

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Crime-drama with multiple twists and turns, where three steps gay men take can change everything. Step One, the form to join Dom's Haven. Step two, the chozen. Step three, eternal damnation. One police man must work outside the law when all is not what it seems.



Short Summary

It starts with a murder and a man who is pivotal to the whole story who has been kidnapped and turned into a submissive for a man who is being investigated by the police for his activities.

This part ends on a cliffhanger where the guy working for the security team, to find a missing man, comes face to face with someone he knows from his past. He has to decide whether to stop what is happening and risk other men's lives, or stand an watch the horror the guy is going to endure.



Based on a True Story


Plot - Premise

Tragedy,Overcoming Monster/Villain

Plot - Other Elements


Mature Audience Themes

Extreme Violence,Nudity

Main Character Details

Name: Tucker Parks

Age: 42

Gender: Male

Role: Protagonist

Key Traits: Masculine,Badass,Sexy,Complex,Confident,Empathetic,Selfless,Skillful,Heroic,Secretive,Strong Moral Code,Leader

Additional Character Details

Name: Phil Knight

Age: 44

Gender: Male

Role: Protagonist

Key Traits: Masculine,Badass,Complex,Confident,Skillful,Visionary,Leader,Heroic,Gracious,Strong Moral Code,Secretive

Additional Character Details

Name: Phoenix

Age: 46

Gender: Male

Role: protagonist

Key Traits: Adventurous,Aspiring,Badass,Complex,Confident,Engaging,Heroic,Honorable,Leader,Strong Moral Code,Skillful,Outspoken,Blunt

Additional Character Details

Name: Gabriel

Age: 42

Gender: Male

Role: protagonist

Key Traits: Adventurous,Masculine,Badass,Charming,Sexy,Confident,Complex,Decisive,Seductive,Heroic

Development Pitch

The book has multiple POV giving the reader or viewer the chance to get to know all the characters and get them rooting for their favourite. Its fast paced and makes for a read where you want to turn the page to see what happens next. Imagine Line of Duty where dirty cops are the norm, but who are they and how deep is the dirt dug into the system? Throw in a kidnapping and slavery ring where men take what they want and use what they don't to feed the depravity of others for a cost, and you have the perfect storm. We have a policeman who has secret that will ruin his career and a security team who he has to trust full of men that will do anything to save the innocent. Women will give their hearts to these men because they are bad boys who want to do the right thing. Chozen has it all!

About The Author

Eccentric cake lover who has a passion for words of all kinds. I’m Jayne or JP, and my pen names are, J Paton (Crime), JP Sayle (MM paranormal, romance) and Jayne Paton (M/F romance). I live in the Isle of Man which is a tiny place in the Irish sea where all the magic happens. I’m a confessed bookaholic and if I’m not writing I love to snuggle with a book or two…if you catch my drift.

Target Audiences

Age: 18-34,35-54,55+

Target Gender: Universal

Group Specific

BDSM world, Police

Publishing Details

Status: Yes: self-published

Publisher: Amazon

Year Published: 2021

Hard Copy Available







Three men embark must join a BDSM club through various positions in order to get to the man who runs it. They must get to this man in order to find a missing man and stop more crimes from happening. Torture and slavery goes on within the club and the team but allow some of it in order not to endanger others further.

Overall Rating


Point of View


Narrative Elements

Authors Writing Style: FAIR

Characterization: FAIR

Commerciality: FAIR

Franchise Potential: GOOD

Pace: FAIR

Premise: FAIR

Structure: FAIR

Theme: FAIR

Accuracy of Book Profile

The book profile does reflect certain truths about the book, however it creates confusing gaps within the story. For example the logline does not have context about which characters from the details connect to the plot. There is a similar vagueness to the development pitch talking about characters without attaching their names.

Draw of Story

The opening is quite bleak of the captive man but fits well into introducing the importance of talking down the antagonist. It creates investment in the antagonist's demise.

Possible Drawbacks

The dialogue and scene length can feel too long at times and therefore delay the pacing when it focuses on minute details or possible future actions or actions that do not progress the main conflict.

Use of Special Effects


Primary Hook of Story

The hook is that three men have to initiate themselves into a suspect BDSM club in order to save people but this involves having to do or witness the suspect things to gain further levels into the fold.

Fanbase Potential

This could have a larger fanbase with more distinct inner conflicts for the ensemble. Due to its erotic content, the audience is limited to mature audiences who also might be smaller due to the graphic nature of the antagonist's sexual violence.

Awards Potential

This is unlikely to have awards potential due to the genre as a sexual thriller.

Envisioned Budget


Similar Films/TV Series


What’s New About the Story

The originality of the story stems from the specific darkness of a subspace that is taken advantage of and the willingness of the protagonists to sacrifice themselves to save others despite the vulnerability and damage it causes in gaining entry into Dom's Haven.

Lead Characters

The men who enter the darkness of Dom's Haven are brave, self-sacrificing, self-motivated, loyal and desperate. Their righteous anger at the atrocities allows for the risks in order to create the change.

Uniqueness of Story

This has some interesting themes and plot elements but the characters are bit hard to follow given the structure and the conflict is hard to follow at times due to the pacing.

Possible Formats

Film: Streaming, Indie

Analyst Recommendation



While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

Tips for Improvement

Some scenes can be shortened by focusing on what is happening rather than having the characters guess what will or discuss what is not happening. This will help progress the main conflict more smoothly in order to create more consistent pacing. The POV also could benefit to have longer scenes that progress the plot from a specific character in order to progress the characters' inner conflict development or stick to less POVs as this can be confusing when it switches too quickly between characters.