BLACK LICK CREEK AND THE CITY OF BROKEN PEOPLE
Submision Type
book
Logline
Two boys and their girl leader, all 10 years old, pledge with blood and spit an unbreakable united front against all adversity that comes their way and with the aid of the influence of the moon, sun and North Star fight their way to their own style of freedom.
Genre
Young Adult,Drama
Short Summary
Carla, Dean and Lyle cut school and run to play in a creek. They seal their undying love and support for each other with blood and spit.
Setting
Columbus, Ohio and Portsmouth, Ohio
Based on a True Story
No
Plot - Premise
Overcoming Monster/Villain,Tragedy
Plot - Other Elements
Coming of Age,Meaningful Message
Mature Audience Themes
Extreme Violence,Incest,Sexual Abuse
Main Character Details
Name: Carla
Age: 10- 16
Gender: Female
Role: Emotional
Key Traits: Adventurous,Badass,Charming,Confident,Decisive,Faithful,Heroic,Leader,Secretive,Skillful,Outspoken
Additional Character Details
Name: Dean
Age: 10 - 16
Gender: Male
Role: Sidekick
Key Traits: Adventurous,Masculine,Badass,Aggressive,Obedient,Uneducated,Confident,Power Hungry,Heroic,Criminal
Additional Character Details
Name: Lyle
Age: 10-16
Gender: Male
Role: sidekick
Key Traits: Underdog,Modest,Obedient,Complex,Desperate,Educated,Insecure
Additional Character Details
Name: Sophie
Age: 14 - 25
Gender: Female
Role: antagonist
Key Traits: Criminal,Desperate,Unapologetic,Manipulative,Seductive,Villainous
Genre
ACTION, DRAMA, MATURE AUDIENCE
Brief
Dean, Carla and Lyle share a friendship that is stronger than family. They survive rough childhoods with each others help to form an unbreakable bond. The three escape from the society that did them wrong and live a life of freedom above the law. Their luck surviving against all odds starts to run out.GTH
Overall Rating
FAIR
Narrative Elements
Authors Writing Style: FAIR
Characterization: FAIR
Commerciality: FAIR
Franchise Potential: GOOD
Pace: FAIR
Premise: GOOD
Structure: FAIR
Theme: FAIR
Accuracy of Book Profile
The book profile does reflect the story for the most part. The character of Sophie is focused on but she is not really a part of the story in the later portion so it might be better to use a different character that is consistent throughout more of the story such as Moose. The celestial aspect in the profile is not as clear or more spread out in the book as a theme.
Draw of Story
Carla's childhood bond with Dean and Lyle is intriguing due to its supportive but destructive nature. The trouble the get into is beyond their years and yet they have a simplicity and innocence that makes them feel authentic in trying to figure out their complicated lives.
Possible Drawbacks
The amount of trauma presented can be relentless to the point of detachment due to overload. There is emotional investment in the characters but having more variation to the levels of the plot intensity and a sustained external conflict will lead to greater attachment.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY RELIES A LITTLE BIT ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
The hook is that Carla, Lyle and Dean fashion themselves as a family unit as teens through crime in order to escape the abuse they endured as children. They are described as capable of anything and live up to that description both in good and bad ways.
Fanbase Potential
With clearer internal transformations of the main characters this might have a decent fan base for the strong chemistry between the trio and their unusual relationship and independence.
Awards Potential
Due to the nature of the characters being teens and the unclear themes of the multiple external conflicts, this is unlikely to be nominated for prestigious adult awards but might win in popular youth circuits of awards.
Envisioned Budget
LOW BUDGET
Similar Films/TV Series
Y TU MAMA TAMBIEN, RIVERDALE, BONNIE AND CLYDE, BABY DRIVER
What’s New About the Story
The originality stems from the fascinating dynamic between the three young friends who are each others best friends, romantic partners and family units. Their independence as teens and what they chose to do with their autonomy is alarming but thrilling at times.
Lead Characters
Carla is responsible, sweet and strong. Dean is reckless, smart and loyal. Lyle is adventurous, caring and dedicated.
Uniqueness of Story
This has a unique relationship dynamic but the structure of the external conflict could be adjusted to help clarify the themes and increase emotional investment in the plot and characters.
Possible Formats
Film: Streaming, Indie, Studio TV Series: Streaming, Cable, Network
Analyst Recommendation
WORK IN PROGRESS
Justification
While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.
Tips for Improvement
Adding clearer inner conflicts and transformations will help maximize the three main character's investment. Focusing on the impact of less trauma with greater depth to the trauma that is presented will help define an apparent theme as the scope will be easier to follow.