Mortal Critters
ACTION ADVENTURE COMEDY CRIME DETECTIVE DRAMA EPIC EROTICA FAMILY FANTASY MYSTERY POLITICAL RELIGIOUS GOTHIC HORROR LGBT FUNNY SCI-FI WAR HISTORICAL FICTION YOUNG ADULT SUSPENSE/THRILLER ROMANCE
17th Century or Earlier
Kevin James Donoghue
Submision Type
book
Logline
A dark epic fantasy set in a broken world of plots, high treason, intrigue, murder, war, and witchcraft. The Hundreds Year War rages across the Great Empire as Templar's, Witches, Inquisitors, Wizards, Kings, and Murderers clash and plot intrigues. Historical figures Elisabeth, Edward2, Templars
Genre
Action,Adventure,Comedy,Crime,Detective,Drama,Epic,Erotica,Family,Fantasy,Mystery,Political,Religious,Gothic,Horror,LGBT,Funny,Sci-fi,War,Historical Fiction,Young Adult,Suspense/Thriller,Romance
Short Summary
Hero spies for Great Empire ~ Is a great literary mind, Mother bullies him, Father disinherits him, Lover is a witch. New Cultural Laws, Inquisition & sadistic Witch-Finder General. Hunt for Templar treasure, fight for liberty, struggle for equality.
Setting
London & Northern England
Based on a True Story
No
Plot - Premise
Overcoming Monster/Villain,Rags to Riches,Internal Journey/Rebirth,Quest,Rebellion Against 'The One',Voyage and Return,Tragedy
Plot - Other Elements
Coming of Age,Meaningful Message,Philosophical Questions,Twist
Mature Audience Themes
Extreme Violence,Nudity
Main Character Details
Name: Sir Thomas Deveroux
Age: 25-28
Gender: Male
Role: Protagonist
Key Traits: Adventurous,Aspiring,Badass,Charming,Clumsy,Complex,Empathetic,Heartthrob,Heroic,Educated,Insecure,Naive,Modest,Sexy,Patriotic,Selfless,Funny,Romantic,Sarcastic,Secretive,Seductive,Sophisticated
Additional Character Details
Name: Robyn Nudd
Age: 23
Gender: Lgbt
Role: Sidekick
Key Traits: Adventurous,Aspiring,Badass,Aggressive,Clumsy,Complex,Criminal,Engaging,Flexible,Underdog,Villainous,Sexy,Blunt,Outspoken,Skillful,Funny,Romantic,Sarcastic,Secretive,Seductive,Unapologetic,Lone Wolf
Additional Character Details
Name: Dr John Dee
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Role: mentor
Key Traits: Charming,Clumsy,Complex,Confident,Crazy,Empathetic,Engaging,Faithful,Flexible,Gracious,Educated,Narcisstic,Patriotic,Power Hungry,Skillful,Funny,Visionary,Sarcastic,Secretive,Sophisticated,Strong Moral Code
Additional Character Details
Name: Lud The Black
Age: 28-35
Gender: Male
Role: antagonist
Key Traits: Badass,Aggressive,Charming,Criminal,Decisive,Complex,Desperate,Greedy,Heroic,Heartthrob,Educated,Leader,Masculine,Villainous,Narcisstic,Sexy,Blunt,Power Hungry,Seductive,Secretive,Manipulative,Lone Wolf
Genre
DRAMA, RELIGION, FANTASY
Brief
In a distant world, monarchies and magic rule the land. A young boy is born with the mark of evil that will fulfill a prophecy. A murder occurs and Sir Thomas tries to find the culprit. Something dark is stirring in the land.
Overall Rating
FAIR
Narrative Elements
Authors Writing Style: GOOD
Characterization: FAIR
Commerciality: FAIR
Franchise Potential: GOOD
Pace: FAIR
Premise: FAIR
Structure: FAIR
Theme: FAIR
Accuracy of Book Profile
The book profile gives an overview of the world but does not touch on the plot of the story. It needs to reference events of the story and the characters to reflect the book.
Draw of Story
The story start very slowly. It introduces characters, giving many unnecessary details. The plot takes a long time to reveal itself and even then it is not clear.
Possible Drawbacks
This book is filled with unnecessary information. The goal might have been world building but the excessive explanations drag on and make it hard to decipher the plot. The characters are not clear cut, each chapter blending into the next one with little distinction.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY RELIES A LITTLE BIT ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
The hook is that terrible events are occurring as a young boy tries to rid himself of an evil prophecy.
Fanbase Potential
This would not have a large fanbase. It is trying to be an epic adventure story with deep world building but it does not deliver. It did not feel like another world where magic presides. The story is too complicated for its own good. It would attract the fantasy audience but be compared to many other stories of the same genre that really transport the audience into another world.
Awards Potential
This does not have awards potential. It is lacking in creativity and distinction. There are so many characters with not enough time taken to develop any of them. This story is more plot driven.
Envisioned Budget
MEDIUM BUDGET
Similar Films/TV Series
MERLIN, PILLARS OF THE EARTH
What’s New About the Story
The story tries to be original but needs to focus on the unique parts of the story and world it is trying to create and develop them.
Lead Characters
The lead characters do not stand out. The lead characters stories bleed into each other and they don't have very distinguishing characteristics.
Uniqueness of Story
This is an average story. It needs to be reworked and refocused on the plot. The characters do not work towards the plot. There is also a large amount of unnecessary dialogue and descriptions that do not aid in telling the story.
Possible Formats
Film - Studio, Film - Indie, Film - Streaming, TV Series - Limited Run / Mini-Series, TV Series - Streaming
Analyst Recommendation
WORK IN PROGRESS
Justification
While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.
Tips for Improvement
To change this grade to a recommend, the plot needs to be clearer and the characters distinct. The world needs to be determined clearly, drawing the audience in to the story.