Holes In Water

Pen Name: Matsie Non

Book Cover

GENRE

DRAMA HISTORICAL

    Core Theme

    A STORY ABOUT A WOMAN’;S RECONNECTION WITH HER FAMILY AND HER ROOTS IN A DELICATE MOMENT OF HER FATHER’S HEALTH WHILE DISCOVERING SECRETS FROM THE PAST AND A HIDDEN TREASURE

    TIME PERIOD

    20th Century (multiple decades),19th Century

    COMPARABLE TITLES

    The Treasure: because it has a similar plot. A man who lives quietly with his wife and son discovers a treasure hidden in his backyard and his life takes a different turn.

    CHARACTER LIST

    MISSY: 30+. LEAD. SWEET, RESPONSIBLE AND BRAVE.

    JOSEPHINE: 15-25. LEAD OF THE SECOND STORY. STRONG, HOPEFUL AND FOCUSED.

    MORT: 65+. MISSY’S DAD. DEDICATED, STRONG AND SMART.

    GEORGE: 35+. JOSEPHINE’S HUSBAND. EVIL, GREEDY, VIOLENT.

    MARION: 50+. MORT’S OLD AFFAIR AND CURRENT CARETAKER. DEDICATED, FIRM, LOYAL.

    CHUCK: 35+. MISSY’S HUSBAND. MODDY, IMPULSIVE, PASSIONATE

    Logline

    Josephine, a Native American Teen, is traded for land and becomes the property of a thieving Civil War Veteran. Misty, a rancher's daughter, uncovers the truth when her dad hands her a coin and tells her the story behind the hidden treasure.

    Target Audiences

    Age: 18-34,35-54,55+

    Target Gender: Universal

    Setting

    Western United States

    Based on a True Story

    Yes

    Publishing Details

    Status: No

    Starting Description

    It all starts with a fly buzzing against the glass windowpane. Misty's dad tells her the story of Tobacco Garden, the murder, and hands her a coin given to him from the last man that George Grinnell hired before he was murdered by Josephine.

    Ending Description

    Misty, her husband and her brother and his family, uncover the treasure after diving and searching for the location. Along the way every other chapter reveals the sexual abuse suffered by Josephine and how her life ends with her children.

    Group Specific

    Information not completed

    Hard Copy Available

    No

    ISBN

    Bowker ISBN # 978-1-7326453-3-2

    Mature Audience Themes

    Sexual Abuse,Nudity

    Plot - Other Elements

    Meaningful Message,Philosophical Questions

    Plot - Premise

    Quest

    Main Character Details

    Name: Misty

    Age: 40-50

    Gender: Female

    Role: Logical

    Key Traits: Adventurous,Sexy,Confident,Decisive,Seductive

    Additional Character Details

    Name: Josephine

    Age: 13-40

    Gender: Female

    Role: Emotional

    Key Traits: Modest,Naive,Insecure

    Additional Character Details

    Name: George

    Age: 30-45

    Gender: Male

    Role: antagonist

    Key Traits: Badass,Masculine,Blunt,Power Hungry,Greedy,Criminal,Villainous,Aggressive,Patriotic

    Additional Character Details

    Name: Chuck

    Age: 40-50

    Gender: Male

    Role: skeptic

    Key Traits: Masculine,Adventurous,Confident,Sexy,Leader,Educated

    Genre

    HISTORICAL, DRAMA

    Brief

    When Missy discovers that her father is about to pass away, she returns to the ranch where he lives to be by his side in his final days. However, Missy begins to learn more about the history of the area’s former residents and a treasure that may be hidden there. She then decides to try to find this treasure while reliving good family times.

    Overall Rating

    FAIR

    Point of View

    FIRST PERSON, THIRD PERSON

    Narrative Elements

    Authors Writing Style: GOOD

    Characterization: GOOD

    Commerciality: FAIR

    Franchise Potential: GOOD

    Pace: FAIR

    Premise: GOOD

    Structure: FAIR

    Theme: FAIR

    Accuracy of Book Profile

    It is accurate.

    Draw of Story

    The author’s description of scenes takes us deep into the story. It’s like we’re there with them. At first, Missy’s story sounds more interesting than Josephine’s, as this second narrative line is more graphic and violent and further away from us. But the situation of Missy returning to an old home is quite engaging.

    Possible Drawbacks

    Despite representing George’s character well and showing his authoritarian and evil traits, the brutal sex scenes are difficult to follow. They carry a feminine humiliation that makes the stomach turn and seems to be a little out of tune with the rest of the story.

    Use of Special Effects

    THE STORY DOES NOT RELY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

    Primary Hook of Story

    The hook is to see Josephine returning to her origins, rediscovering the pleasure of being with family, and discovering more about the places of her childhood.

    Fanbase Potential

    As a treasure hunt in a bucolic and poetic family drama, I believe it has the potential for a large audience.

    Awards Potential

    If the adaptation focuses more on the family issue, the stories of the past that are being shared, and the relationships that are becoming closer while a treasure is discovered, it would have the potential for awards.

    Envisioned Budget

    LARGE BUDGET

    Similar Films/TV Series

    THE TREASURE - A MAN LEADS A PEACEFUL LIFE WITH HIS FAMILY WHEN A TREASURE IS DISCOVERED IN HIS BACKYARD.

    What’s New About the Story

    A treasure hunt in a countryside environment mixed with a family drama seems original for a style of film that is usually only inserted in the adventure genre.

    Lead Characters

    Josephine is a strong female character who goes through life’s difficulties in an apparently passive way but internally, she desires independence and starts to take and hide her husband’s gold coins to give her children a better future. Missy is a woman committed to her obligations and sweet. She feels happy to be helping her father and does what she can to bring her family back together. They are both strong female characters connected by the same place.

    Uniqueness of Story

    It’s not a rare gem because we’ve seen similar themes before, but it’s a book with original and unique characteristics for an adaptation.

    Possible Formats

    Film: Studio TV Series: Mini-Series, Streaming

    Analyst Recommendation

    WORK IN PROGRESS

    Justification

    The author manages to connect two stories that run at different times well, but some parts still need a little more development, especially in structure, characters and plot. Some characters seem too villainous, like George. He seems too brutal and sadistic for the situations that occur in the book, and his part ends up out of step with the tone of the rest of the story.

    Tips for Improvement

    One of the stories has more dramatic weight than the other. While we are taken by Missy’s sweetness and dedication to a place well known to her in childhood, and we see her relationships with her father and brother strengthen in the main narrative, we are constantly thrown into an abusive relationship with a man who seems to add little to the history, in the second narrative line. He has an essential role in the matter of gold and treasure but ends up falling into the commonplace of an abusive man for no reason. Maybe it would be interesting to get to know him a little more to try to understand what led him to such a degrading and obscure state of mind. As Josephine and George’s narrative is more difficult to follow, we ended up stepping back from it, eagerly wanting to get back to Missy’s story. The ideal would be to seek a greater dramatic balance between the two stories so that the narrative transits equally well through both.

    Brief

    The old story of a brave woman who changed the course of American justice is discovered by Missy as she visits her sick father at the family’s old ranch. Along with Josephine’s story, Missy discovers a treasure hidden and kept for many years.

    What We Liked

    It is a story with a solid narrative significance that combines drama and adventure originally and uniquely. As we follow a family reconnecting on the brink of the patriarch’s death, we see a treasure hunt taking place in the same environment. The narrative still reveals the history of that place, bringing to light the story of a strong and fundamental woman for American women’s rights. Both the family and the character of Josephine have a well-defined narrative arc that is shaped according to new events. In addition to two interesting narrative lines that run in parallel, what matters most here are the strong female characters that change the universe around them.

    Film: The main narrative—from family drama to treasure hunt—features an exciting plot and a thrilling mix of genres, the book could make for an entertaining and touching film, with a lovely female protagonist and a breathtaking setting.

    TV: Since the book has extensive content, and the story is told in two different narrative lines, at different times, with different tones and characters, adapting it to TV would be a good choice. The story has an exciting plot, but the female characters are the highlight of this novel that would make for an interesting character-driven series.

    Key points:
    - Excellent female protagonists
    - An interesting mix of genres
    - An engaging backstory that is slowly revealed
    - Defined arcs that end satisfactorily
    - A historical narrative that supports and completes the main story

    Synopsis

    Missy travels to her family’;s ranch in the countryside to spend time with her sick father. Arriving there, she meets Marion, her father’s caretaker, who informs her that he only has a few weeks left. While she takes care of the ranch herself, her father tells her old stories about the region. She learns of the story of Josephine, an indigenous woman who was given to a white man, George, by her father in exchange for a piece of land. George was extremely abusive and sexually perverted towards her, causing young Josephine to shut up in his presence and accept her fate. Meanwhile, George starts trying different types of business in the city, including a search for gold that starts to become a buzz in the surroundings. He discovers the right place to find gold and acts with violence with those he intends to take advantage of the area. When the priest realizes the harm that George, who has always been drunk, has done to Josephine, he decides to send her to a college on the pretext of educating her and teaching her the laws of God. The husband sees no alternative but to accept. They spend three years away. When Josephine returns, she tries to hide from George, but he tricks her into marrying her in church, under God’s laws. The priest and her family accept, and Josephine returns to George’s control. He treats her well at first, but as soon as she becomes pregnant with her first child, he becomes violent and sadistic again as before. Missy continues to hear stories from her father, interacting daily with him, and decides to invite her older brother to join them. The brother is distant from the family and a bit of a charlatan, and he has a self-seeking wife, which the family dislikes. As they are being evicted from home, Missy’s brother and his wife realize that going to the ranch would be perfect timing. The initial encounter seems a little hostile, but they all end up reconnecting as one big family again over time. Meanwhile, Missy learns a little more about her mother and her father’s old affair with Marion. Missy also finds a letter that tells about an ancient treasure hidden in the region. She desires to go after it.

    We return to the story of Josephine, who begins to take gold coins hidden from her husband to ensure a promising future for her children. He is increasingly drunk, perverted, and violent, hanging out with prostitutes and disrespecting Josephine. Until one day, when Josephine’s sister’s husband, and George’s enemy, is found dead, and she mourns his death at her sister’s side. Jealous to see his wife crying over another man’s death, he takes off on horseback after her. To defend herself and her daughter, Josephine kills him. The police proceed to investigate the crime, and they come to her. She tells the whole truth about the dozens of times she’s had her nose broken or her face bruised by him. In an unprecedented court decision, a wife is not seen guilty of her husband’s death because she acted in self-defense. She lives a comfortable life on George’s pension and his stolen gold and has a good life with her children from then on.

    Missy, on the other hand, is getting closer to her plan to find the treasure, but Marion warns her of the need to hand the money over to the government if she finds anything. They decide to hire an archeologist who will pretend to be on the hunt for important archaeological pieces to avoid handing over the gold to the government. After a few tries, she finds a box and takes it to her dad, so he can slowly open the box, showing the glitter of a coin inside.

    About The Author

    Matsie Non is a writer from the Western USA who likes to portray strong and potent historical women as her story’s leads.