The Proving Grounds of Armageddon
Logline
The Jarn have sent Zemith the Collector to Earth. He is to gather 200 of Earth's citizens and bring them to the Proving Grounds of Armageddon. There, they will compete in a series of ten trials. If Team Earth does well, wishes will be bestowed upon them, but should they fail, Hell will rain down!
Genre
Action,Sci-fi,Fantasy
Short Summary
Earth, once a beautiful planet, has become toxic, emitting a negative energy, which disrupts the flow of the universe. This cannot be allowed. The Jarn, a race of immortals, from a time before time, will see that the citizens of Earth are given a chance to save their planet from anhialation.
In a bizarre twist, the handful of remaining members from Team Earth are forced to fight each other. Their memories are gone. They no longer know who they are fighting, or what they are fighting for. It's is purely about survival.
Setting
World and Proving Grounds of Armageddon
Based on a True Story
No
Plot - Premise
Quest
Plot - Other Elements
Coming of Age,Happy Ending,Meaningful Message,Twist
Mature Audience Themes
Extreme Violence
Main Character Details
Name: Wilson
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Role: Protagonist
Key Traits: Masculine,Leader,Strong Moral Code,Confident
Additional Character Details
Name: Zemith
Age: Immortal
Gender: Male
Role: Mentor
Key Traits: Obedient,Religious,Skillful,Faithful,Complex
Additional Character Details
The author has not yet written this
Additional Character Details
The author has not yet written this
Development Pitch
Zemith, the Collector is dispatched by the Jarn Elders to gather 200 of Earth's citizens. He does not gather the fastest or the strongest. His selections are to be random, as they have always been. The 200 will be brought to the Proving Grounds to compete in the ten trials, a competition older than planet Earth. Many will die, all will suffer. The humans are considered bottom-dwellers, likely to perish early, and face harsh sanctions. Led by Wilson Collins, a man filled with secrets and hidden abilities, they are Earth's only hope. Teams from two hundred planets are represented at the Proving Grounds, each unique, most humanoid, and many deadly. Back home on planet Earth, the Jarn control most aspects of daily life, allowing everyone to bear witness to the events as they unfold. Harsh sanctions, and possible genocide awaits those teams that fail. Wishes are bestowed upon those that succeed, allowing them to change their lives and the lives of those around them, making a better Earth. Will they prevail?
Genre
ACTION, DRAMA, FANTASY
Brief
Earth is contacted by Zemith, an ambassador of the Jarn to get two hundred people to compete in their alien games. Zemith is secretly a spy against the Zarn's true intentions of the ten trials amongst the alien races and selects Wilson, a strong fighter, on purpose rather than at random like the other humans. Most of he humans die in the first round, but remaining pair for even harder trials in order so the Zarn will save Earth.
Overall Rating
FAIR
Narrative Elements
Authors Writing Style: FAIR
Characterization: FAIR
Commerciality: FAIR
Franchise Potential: GOOD
Pace: FAIR
Premise: FAIR
Structure: FAIR
Theme: FAIR
Accuracy of Book Profile
The script profile does reflect the story although the character descriptions are limited. The pitch could also be expanded to include themes within the story rather than just the summary of the plot similar to the short summary. This addition could provide new information about the marketability of the narrative.
Draw of Story
It is a neat concept that the competitors are chosen at random rather than the prime candidates which leads to surprising results about who is successful.
Possible Drawbacks
A lot of the dialogue focuses on future action but not in an exposition forward manner such as further explaining the Zarn's motivation. This makes the pacing feel slower despite the packed plot because the action tends to have little dialogue while here is tension during the fights.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY RELIES A LITTLE BIT ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
The hook is that humans have to fight other aliens to save Earth in ten trials run by their new alien overlords but they are ill-prepared having forgotten teamwork and being used to being the top species on their planet.
Fanbase Potential
Depending on continued character development and where the theme progresses this could have a medium size base due to its genre being sci-fi but action.
Awards Potential
Due to the genre and action based trials this is unlikely to win prestige awards without further exploration of unique themes about humanity.
Envisioned Budget
LARGE BUDGET
Similar Films/TV Series
THE 4400, INDEPENDENCE DAY, HUNGER GAMES, DIVERGENT, MAZE RUNNER
What’s New About the Story
The most unique relationship stems from the nuanced dynamic between Jemith and Wilson. The idea that aliens are in control and in communication but the fate of humanity results in the humans fighting different aliens rather than their overlords is also more complicated than mos invasions with this added layer.
Lead Characters
Wilson is curious, jaded and confident. Zemith is secretive, direct and no-nonsense. Clarence is a bit showy but knows how to work an audience.
Uniqueness of Story
This has some neat layers to the genre, but the action does no develop the characters and the characters feel less dynamic without more dialogue that is not alien exposition.
Possible Formats
Television
Analyst Recommendation
WORK IN PROGRESS
Justification
The dialogue tends to slow the pacing in its focus while the action seems to be too fast in terms of character development. The characters can be static and the structure doesn't always follow industry standards such as the ending speech of the presidents.
Tips for Improvement
Adding more character dynamics and dialogue within the action trials may help the action feel less rushed and present. It can feel like a montage without this while the dialogue surrounding it slows down the pacing by only talking about what could happen. Making sure the dialogue accomplishes a purpose rather than just sets a possible plan may also help even out the pacing. Adding more insight into the motivations of the human characters could better introduce their inner conflicts.