Zachary, Dawn of The Awakening.
GENRE
ACTION POLITICAL SCI-FI SUSPENSE / THRILLER WAR RELIGIOUS FANTASY EPIC
Core Theme
OVERCOMING EVIL, SALVATION
TIME PERIOD
Contemporary
COMPARABLE TITLES
X-MEN, MARVEL'S AGENTS OF SHIELD, INHUMANS, THE DEFENDERS, RUNAWAYS
CHARACTER LIST
• JACOB: MALE. 120. STOIC, LEADER, STRENGTH AND TELEPATHY POWERS.
• WADE: 50S, SPEED AND DEXTERITY POWER, KICKASS, LIVELY, COMEDIC
• ILA: 40-50S FEMALE, NURSE, HEALING POWER, INTUITIVE, CALM, COMFORTING
• SAMANTHA: 16 FEMALE, TELEKINETIC POWER, SHY, FLEDGLING
• SUSAN: 40S, FEMALE, PROPHECY POWER, SPOKESPERSON
Logline
Two enemy factions race toward a childbirth: The Circle of Benediction, a secret society whose mission is to destroy anyone with supernatural abilities, and the Watchers, on underground group sworn to protect those with powers. The Watchers, led by Jacob Pennington- an elderly man of unnatural strength- secures the child before the Circle destroys him. But can they keep him alive with the limitless resources the Circle Held up at Pennington's Rampart Industries, the Watchers will make their stand. The birth of this child changes everything... and so would his death.
Genre
Fantasy, Sci-Fi
Target Audiences
Age: 13-17
Target Gender: Universal
Setting
The author has not yet written this
Based on a True Story
No
Starting Description
The author has not yet written this
Ending Description
With the help of friends, the Watchers will prevail in keeping the child alive, after a huge clash of guns and supernatural ability, only to be taken out the back door by someone from within.
Pitch Adaptation
In a modern world, where supernatural abilities are only myth and speculation, there is a hidden group of people who must fight for survival from their enemy, The Circle of Benediction. With the birth of the prophesied child, comes great change and the full use of abilities which have not been seen on Earth in six millennia.
WGA Number
The author has not yet written this
Mature Audience Themes
The author has not yet written this
Plot - Other Elements
,What if supernatural abilities were within us all?,Twist,Coming of Age
Plot - Premise
Overcoming Monster/Villain,
Main Character Details
Name: Zachary is a baby in book 1. So the main character would be Jacob. He is old, but not tired. Is mother was a telepath and his father one of super strength and size. Combining the powers provided him with an additional power to place suggestions on someone's mind. He has saved so many from the Circle.
Age: 120
Gender: Male
Role: Mentor
Key Traits: Aggressive
Additional Character Details
Name: Jacob Pennington
Age: 120
Gender: Male
Role: Protagonist
Key Traits: Badass,Aggressive,Masculine
Additional Character Details
Name: Father Conrad Marco
Age: 30'ish
Gender: Other
Role: antagonist
Key Traits: Masculine,Badass,Aggressive,Religious
Additional Character Details
Name: Eric the prophet
Age: 100
Gender: Male
Role: emotional
Key Traits: Unapologetic
Supplemental Materials
Information not completed
Genre
POLITICS, WAR, DRAMA, ACTION
Brief
A baby's birth sets in motion an old prophecy that is being closely watched. Two organizations seek out the child: The Watcher hoping to secure the child before The Circle of Benediction can destroy him. The Watchers, a ragtag group of superhuman people, secure the baby and fend off both The Circle and the Gov't until they are betrayed by an unforeseen double agent.
Overall Rating
FAIR
Narrative Elements
Authors Writing Style: FAIR
Characterization: GOOD
Commerciality: GOOD
Franchise Potential: FAIR
Pace: GOOD
Premise: FAIR
Structure: GOOD
Theme: FAIR
Accuracy of Book Profile
The Book Profile accurately reflects the book at this point.
Draw of Story
The league of superhumans is a popular trope that is mixed here with a dash of religious influence and set in a modern day context. There are several strong characters in the protagonist camp, and the shadowy nature of the antagonists demands the reader's attention.
Possible Drawbacks
The nature of the religious elements are still largely unexplained. As this could serve as the first book in a series, it is possible that there is more to learn about the underpinnings of these influences, but as a standalone story, it is a bit jarring. The nature of superpowers being biological is intriguing, but that quickly becomes complicated as religious powers in the young boy Zachary divide the camps of science and religion.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
The prodigal son is born and his enemies are watching. The story feels like a race for survival from the get go, only slowing down to explain bits of the world as they come into view, always with a focus on the persistent threat to Zachary's safety as he ages into his role as leader of the next great revolution.
Fanbase Potential
Certainly those that have latched onto other superhuman narratives would get a kick out of this. It may attract religion or history buffs with its internal religious narrative, though it is historical fiction that drives the core of that plot arc. If the story is sold as is, it would likely wade through the field of teen and under 30's viewers, but not stand out among the competing properties in the genre.
Awards Potential
Perhaps for its CGI and staging it could be a competitive property, but it is not screaming for critic's attention as much as it is for that of laymen superhero fans.
Envisioned Budget
LARGE BUDGET
Similar Films/TV Series
INHUMANS, THE DEFENDERS, MARVEL'S AGENTS OF SHIELD
What’s New About the Story
The religious elements of this story add to its originality. There is a sense of purpose that drives the characters despite their different upbringings, powers, and motivations. Even some of the more prominent antagonists share that trait. What this property is missing is clarity. In terms of the antagonist organization as a whole, the religious superpowers that affect the young protagonist Zachary, and the influence of the government fighting the Watchers, there is quite a bit that leaves the audience scratching their heads as they try to connect the dots.
Lead Characters
Jacob is the Professor Xavier of this universe, and his strong form and calm demeanor soothe the rash actions of his friend Wade, who together help to lead the Watchers toward success against The Circle.
Uniqueness of Story
This is not a rare gem, so much as it is a replica of existing gems. It is striving to share the space with X-Men and The Inhumans' universe, but without the same attention to character detail. The audience will find it hard to attach to the secondary characters, as they are often seen as lesser pawns in the game, and so much attention is instead spent on the often-unseen boy Zachary, the prophetic savior. There ought to be some more energy spent to make all characters lovable or even hateable so that the audience feels the stakes when their lives are put in danger.
Possible Formats
Film - Studio, Film - Streaming, TV Series - Cable
Analyst Recommendation
CONSIDER
Justification
The property is worth considering because there is potential to be pulled from the existing narrative. The ideas are there, they are just not fully executed. The universe feels realistic enough that the suspension of disbelief will hold, but it is currently being held by a single strand. The lack of clarity in storytelling creates a narrative that feels "put-together" in the author's mind, but not truly explained so that the audience can visualize how the pieces of the story interlock. Religion and science will consistently battle in this world. That creates tension and will draw people in, but there is no line in the sand. There is quite a bit of blending of science and superpowers, and it feels as if religion is simply smeared on top as the end-all-be-all, without any proper justification.
Brief
When a prophesied baby is born, a group of superhuman heroes known as the Watchers must rescue him. The antagonist group known as the Circle of Benediction has plans to destroy the child, and one of their members is not certain that he agrees. After being outcast for his beliefs, this prophet seeks out the Watchers to warn them of the danger that faces the newborn, as well as the boy's role as the leader of a great army that will bring about global change.
What We Liked
- The story has unique characters with interesting powers and a mix of diverse abilities. The plot has good pacing and ramps up well as the heroes believe they have succeeded, only for a sudden twist to sweep the rug out from under them. There is good attention to the plot progression and quite a bit is accomplished with a conservative number of sets in mind. While the characters are well-defined, there is room for character growth and a potential for the development of several backstory hooks to spin out conflict as the series progresses.
- For film this could serve as the first film in the series and end on a strong cliffhanger, or this could serve as the first two acts of a standalone flick.
- For TV this seems like the arc of the first half of season one. In between the plot that exists there is room for character interest and romantic interests to form. There is plenty of space for a development of both the government forces and the Circle of Benediction without over complicating the current plot.
Synopsis
Local police receive a call of an explosion on a suburban neighborhood. Upon checking out the scene, they find a newborn child alone in the house, its umbilical cord seemingly burnt off. The news of the child's birth is prophesied by members of the protagonist group The Watchers, though the reader first sees the prophet of the antagonist group known as the Circle of Benediction. The group hosts a meeting and begins preparing to steal the newborn.
The Watchers arrive first on the scene, Ila a local nurse, is met up with her friend and Watcher leader Jacob. The two secure the newborn and are driven off by second in command Wade. On the way to a helicopter we learn about the nature of superhuman powers, as well as the fact that Jacob is 120 years old. When the group arrives at the helicopter they are attacked by gunman. They are dispensed with telekinetic force. The group arrives at their compound known as Rampart Industries. There we meet the computer tech Bobby, the Spokeswoman and Prophet Susan, Shawna and her leopard, the Doctor, and later the unstable fiery figure Aghiad.
The group secures the child and begins working on a defense plan. Meanwhile a tertiary figure known as Conrad has been observing the operations from outside the Rampart. New recruits, including the telekinetic Wexford children and their parents, are shown around the facility in an attempt to show transparency to the public and to pick up new superhumans.
As the child grows, tests are done and it seems he is an anomalous figure, a half-angel made by God himself, and a potential destroyer of the Circle of Benediction. After about a week of contact, the Circle Prophet known as Eric arrives with his bodyguards to talk to Jacob about the newborn, Zachary, and his future. Eric wants to protect the boy, and though his spine is damaged and he cannot walk, Eric says he had a vision of the boy standing at the lead of a great army. Jacob takes this information and allows the Circle Prophet to stay at the Rampart, after which Eric reveals that there is a mole among them. Not long after, Conrad breaks into the compound and confronts Wade and Jacob. He attacks the two, breaking Jacob's jaw before being captured by Shawna and her leopard.
As this is going on, FEMA agents descend on the compound, forcing Jacob to respond to them and allow them to enter the facility. With quick thinking, Jacob asks to call his ""attorney."" He calls several of his ex-Army friends and proceeds to stall until they arrive.
A fight breaks out when the men arrive and try to force FEMA away from the compound. Several are injured and a few are dead as the superhumans, including the newly recruited Wexfords, attack the FEMA squad members. When the fighting dies down, Bobby reveals herself as the mole by unleashing sleeping gas in the compound. Wearing a mask, she grabs Zachary and makes her escape, only to be pursued by the Circle Prophet and his guards.