Legion
ADVENTURE DRAMA EPIC MYSTERY POLITICAL SUSPENSE/THRILLER ROMANCE SCI-FI FUNNY
Future
Regine Abel
Logline
When she joins the Vanguard, Ayana allows them to discover the second power of the psychic women of this bioengineered elite peacekeeping force. She also helps them form a basic friendship with unsuspected allies amidst the Kryptid invaders.
Genre
Adventure,Drama,Epic,Mystery,Political,Suspense/Thriller,Romance,Sci-fi,Funny
Short Summary
After her qualification test, Ayana's unusual power leads to discovering her Portal ability. Through it, she's able to rescue the soul of dying Warriors. Along with the rescued Warriors, they set off on a mission to oust the traitor that infiltrated their ranks and rescue their missing Soulcatchers.
After the women on the mission get abducted, they regain control of their ship, bring back the Warriors and rescue the missing Soulcatchers. Ayana gets trapped during the escape, but forges an unexpected friendship with a Kryptid hybrid. She returns home to her HEA with Legion.
Setting
Alien world in the future
Based on a True Story
No
Plot - Premise
Overcoming Monster/Villain,Tragedy,Internal Journey/Rebirth,Voyage and Return,Rebellion Against 'The One'
Plot - Other Elements
Happy Ending,Meaningful Message,Twist
Mature Audience Themes
Extreme Violence,Nudity, Language/Profanity
Main Character Details
Name: Ayana Antoine
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Role: Protagonist
Key Traits: Adventurous,Aspiring,Badass,Modest,Charming,Decisive,Empathetic,Engaging,Faithful,Gracious,Educated,Honorable,Strong Moral Code,Romantic,Visionary,Funny,Skillful,Outspoken,Selfless,Patriotic,Sexy
Additional Character Details
Name: Legion
Age: 60 but looks 30
Gender: Male
Role: Protagonist
Key Traits: Adventurous,Aspiring,Badass,Charming,Masculine,Sexy,Patriotic,Confident,Decisive,Empathetic,Engaging,Faithful,Heartthrob,Heroic,Educated,Honorable,Leader,Unapologetic,Strong Moral Code,Romantic,Seductive,Skillful
Additional Character Details
Name: General Khutu
Age: 90 looks 40
Gender: Male
Role: antagonist
Key Traits: Adventurous,Badass,Aggressive,Masculine,Villainous,Narcisstic,Confident,Criminal,Decisive,Leader,Unapologetic,Manipulative,Sarcastic,Visionary,Skillful,Outspoken,Power Hungry,Blunt,Educated
Additional Character Details
Name: Bane
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Role: emotional
Key Traits: Adventurous,Aspiring,Badass,Masculine,Complex,Confident,Decisive,Heartthrob,Heroic,Honorable,Leader,Unapologetic,Strong Moral Code,Sarcastic,Selfless,Outspoken,Skillful,Patriotic
Development Pitch
Imagine a universe where modern-day world versions of Wonder Woman’s Amazons fight alongside the genetically engineered Xian Warriors to eradicate insectoid humanoids set on enslaving the galaxy in a Starship Troopers meets The Matrix setting! Strong women warriors have a growing, proven appeal (Katniss, Black Widow, Wonder Woman, Lagertha, the Dora Miljae). In this series, the Xian Warriors fight alongside human women with the psychic ability to capture the soul of a fallen warrior and grant him rebirth by transferring his soul into a new body. This series would be ideal for a DC Universe type of movies, therefore appealing to men and women alike of all ages. The overarching story is spread over 9 books (so far, 11 will be the total), each one constituting a single movie, filled with action, epic battles, gut-wrenching emotions, a standalone story and romantic arc with its own satisfying conclusion. Book one covers the Battle for Earth and human women becoming Soulcatchers. Book 2 and 3 reveals that each ethnic group has a unique psychic power. Combined, the powers of the women of the Vanguard and their Warriors make them nearly unstoppable. My Xian Warrior series is a celebration of the human race in all of its diversity, and of the strength of women. We are different, and it is a wonderful thing. We shouldn’t try to fit in a single mold but embrace our uniqueness and put it to the service of each other. Because together, we are stronger, if not invincible.
Genre
ROMANCE, FANTASY
Brief
A talented young human joins a space armada as a psychic to fight a force that threatens to destroy many civilizations. She ends up being of great importance in this fight, saving several combatants and still finding her great love in the process.
Overall Rating
FAIR
Narrative Elements
Authors Writing Style: GOOD
Characterization: FAIR
Commerciality: GOOD
Franchise Potential: GOOD
Pace: FAIR
Premise: FAIR
Structure: FAIR
Theme: GOOD
Accuracy of Book Profile
It is accurate.
Draw of Story
The fact that it is a science fiction story starring a young black girl, which from the beginning already appeared to be crucial to a war of intergalactic proportions.
Possible Drawbacks
There is an excess of attention and scenes focused on the protagonist’s romance with Legion, including some sexually explicit sequences that totally clash and focus away from the main story, which is much more enjoyable.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
The leading hook is the idea of an ordinary human being the primary key to a possible victory in an intergalactic war.
Fanbase Potential
It could, as there is a large audience for sci-fi stories, but there would need to be a greater focus and development on the core story of war and overcoming, rather than romance.
Awards Potential
It would hardly have Awards potential the way it is written, although the central narrative has potential, but needs to be better developed and structured.
Envisioned Budget
LARGE BUDGET
Similar Films/TV Series
ENDER’S GAME - IN THIS SCI-FI MOVIE, A YOUNG MAN MUST BECOME THE BEST PLAYER OF ALL TO DEFEAT AN ALIEN THREAT THAT NEARLY DECIMATED THE HUMAN RACE. EDGE OF TOMORROW - ON AN EARTH DESTROYED BY ALIEN INVADERS, A MAN WHO HAS NEVER FOUGHT IN HIS LIFE IS RECRUITED INTO WAR AND ENDS UP USING TIME TRAVEL TO DISCOVER HOW TO DESTROY HUMANITY’S ENEMIES.
What’s New About the Story
The most original part of this story is everything that involves the presence of psychics and Soulcatchers in the intergalactic war, in addition to their very original involvement with the Warriors. But that always needs to be in the foreground, and not pushed aside by a generic and somewhat tedious romance story.
Lead Characters
Despite her insecurities, the protagonist is determined and quite brave and, although she makes mistakes, she has the talent and heart to end up saving the day a few times.
Uniqueness of Story
It’s not a rare gem, but it could be. It would be best to develop the central war narrative better and focus less on love relationships, generating a unique and compelling sci-fi story.
Possible Formats
Film: Studio, Streaming
Analyst Recommendation
WORK IN PROGRESS
Justification
The book does have potential and good ideas when it comes to the main narrative, especially the dynamics involving humans and alien races, as well as the logic of Warriors and Soulcatchers. However, the story ends up straying a lot from that path and heading for a bit involving romance and an excess of sex, which is nothing new or exciting.
Tips for Improvement
The main issue with the book is that it ends up straying from the central narrative, which is a more traditional story about an ordinary young woman who has great importance in saving the world. This is the most intriguing and compelling line in the story. Still, it ends up losing its way when the narrative insists on exploring the romance between the protagonist and Legion. Not that this aspect could not be shown as something important, but it ends up taking up too much space in the story and not being creative or different at all. In addition, there are some unnecessary sex scenes, bordering on pornography, that also have nothing to add to what is being told. This is a shame, as the narrative begins promisingly, quickly establishing the premises for a universe in imminent conflict (always good to remember, of course, that this is the second book in a series). The main character has charisma, and the author’s writing is good and competent. If she chose to delve deeper into the central theme of the narrative, the bonds between other characters, and the construction of the battle’s climax, the story would probably be much more promising and perhaps even recommendable for a film adaptation.