DRAMA, ROMANCE

Shelly has a life that seems perfect, a loving fiancé (James), a good job, but suddenly it all starts to fall apart, and she notices she is living in an abusive relationship. It is then that she begins to see the spirit of a deceased friend, who supports her in this difficult time. He falls in love with her, but it seems an impossible desire since he is dead. However, when James falls into a coma after an accident, the deceased friend decides to take his body and live his romance with Shelly.

FAIR

THIRD PERSON

Authors Writing Style: FAIR

Characterization: FAIR

Commerciality: FAIR

Franchise Potential: FAIR

Pace: FAIR

Premise: FAIR

Structure: FAIR

Theme: FAIR

It does.

Knowing a little more about the protagonist is interesting. Knowing her dreams, her wishes, how she sees the world. It makes us empathize with her.

Some situations take a while to happen. We spend part of the book following the protagonist's life, and it takes a bit until Nate passes away, then we slowly see James becoming an abusive partner, and only after all that do we follow Nate and Shelly's relationship. As this relationship is, in fact, what matters most in the story, it ends up being a little frustrating to have to wait so long for it.

THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

The hook would be the impossible love between a living woman and a ghost. See how these interactions happen and how far they go with it.

The relationship between the ghost Nate and Shelly is interesting because we see them in everyday situations that bring even dramatic relief, but I believe it would only appeal to fans of romance and this type of movie with this afterlife theme.

If the story digs more on this reflection about beings who love each other in a different way, the conflicts that arise from it, and narrates in a more poetic way what this afterlife and this love that overcomes the barriers of physics would be like, I think you could have more chances for awards.

MEDIUM BUDGET

THE SIXTH SENSE: A BOY CAN SEE DEAD PEOPLE AND HAS A DEEP RELATIONSHIP WITH A DEAD PSYCHOLOGIST. JUST LIKE HEAVEN: A MAN FALLS IN LOVE WITH THE SPIRIT OF THE APARTAMENT OWNER, WHO IS IN A COMA.

The fact that the dead man takes another person's unconscious body to revive and live a great love turns out to be a little original.

Shelly's character is active and empathetic, making us stand by her side. Seeing her relationship with a ghost makes this interaction more complex and interesting.

It's not a rare gem because we've seen films very similar before and because character building doesn't favor such a dramatic and in-depth creation.

Film: Indie, Streaming

WORK IN PROGRESS

While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

A change in structure would be interesting for us to spend more time following this relationship between Nate and Shelly. The fact that he only takes over James' body in the last few pages is also a little frustrating. It would be much more interesting to see this double character build taking place earlier. Characters like James and Nate could have a more interesting build as well. James seems to have undergone a very sudden change in personality and attitude. It's okay that he's an abusive man at heart, dressed up as a romantic guy, but he changes from someone who takes good care of her to someone who treats her very badly, and that seems too abrupt. Nate gets off to a bit of a shaky start, as we're not quite sure what his intentions are there, but when we find out he's a good guy and likes Shelly a lot, he turns out to be a little too passive. It would be nice to see him more attractive, more dubious, more confrontational.