ACTION APOCALYPTIC POLITICAL WAR YOUNG ADULT SUSPENSE/THRILLER ROMANCE
Sid De Beer
An old enemy rears its head in the quest fro world domination and the CIA has to deal with numerous threats from this old enemy. Genre is a fiction novel about a CIA agent that thwarts numerous plans from the old enemy seeking to dominate the world
The President turned to his aides seated around in the situation room. His face white with fright. An exceptionally talented student came to the attention of the CIA station chief in Paris, France and recruited he became a ruthless killer in the line of duty.
Russia threatens ti launch a nuclear strike against the USA and the story ends with Russia and America on the cusp of a nuclear war.
Paris, France-Virginia USA
Based on a True Story
Plot - Premise
Plot - Other Elements
Mature Audience Themes
Information not completed
Main Character Details
Name: Yonti Barr who uses multiple aliases on various missions
Key Traits: Adventurous,Aspiring,Aggressive,Charming,Confident,Crazy,Decisive,Faithful,Heartthrob,Heroic,Educated,Honorable,Leader,Lone Wolf,Strong Moral Code,Seductive,Secretive,Romantic,Visionary,Skillful,Patriotic,Obedient,Masculine,Engaging,Flexible
Additional Character Details
Name: Captain Bastienne Petit of the French Police
Key Traits: Adventurous,Aspiring,Badass,Aggressive,Confident,Heroic,Honorable,Leader,Strong Moral Code,Secretive,Visionary,Skillful,Selfless,Patriotic,Obedient,Masculine
Additional Character Details
Name: Stan Noble
Key Traits: Adventurous,Aspiring,Aggressive,Decisive,Heroic,Educated,Honorable,Leader,Strong Moral Code,Visionary,Skillful,Masculine
Additional Character Details
Name: Clare Johnson
Key Traits: Charming,Sexy
THIS YOUNG MAN IS AN EXTREMELY IMPORTANT PERSON FOR THE FUTURE OF MANKIND.... The USA administration is heavily reliant of the CIA to ferret out any impending threat to that nation. Who knows what the consequences of multiple warheads exploding in space would be. Possible black out of the sun which would drastically effect life on earth leading to starvation within weeks of such an event.
Yonti is recruited as a student in Paris by the CIA. He is trained to become a fighter on par with his exceptional mind. Under a new alias he helps the CIA monitor Russia and other perceived enemies. With nuclear weapons coming into the picture, Yonti realizes he also has something to loose now, his fiance Claire, which makes him vulnerable to attack.
Authors Writing Style: GOOD
Franchise Potential: EXCELLENT
Accuracy of Book Profile
The book profile does reflect the story although some of the sections could be condensed or expanded. The logline could take the explanation of genre and place that in the development pitch. The character details could also showcase the importance of Claire by adding her. The short summary can be a bit confusing in that the order makes it sound like the CIA of Yonti in that he went rogue and became a killer when it just means that he become trained. By clarifying that Yonti is a good guy or editing the syntax to make it clear that he was trained not a traitor this will simplify the profile implications to better match the story.
Draw of Story
Yonti's training and being thrown into the job is compelling. The pacing is great and the characters are likable. There is a mystery as to whether Yonti has what it takes and how long his secret identity will be safe and when it will cause danger.
The plot and pacing is pretty on par, although some of the dialogue when it is in a foreign language can be repetitive. For example if the character speaks in French they then speak the same translation, when in reality, the conversation would not have the translation. By making the meaning evident with context such as answering the correct response in English to a French question or simply saying for example " they were praising God in Arabic" rather than having characters self-translate.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
The hook is that Yonti is a french student recruited by the CIA who has multiple alias that are needed to stop a nuclear war. He is talented and fresh at the job, but ends up losing a lot in the process when it comes to a normal life and some of the people he works with.
This genre as an action film or series could have a large fanbase with further developed side characters to make the action hero dynamics even more distinct.
Although it could be popular due to the action genre, the same genre may limit the prestige awards it may be nominated for. This might win for popular awards however.
Similar Films/TV Series
ALIAS, 24, JACK RYAN, BOURNE IDENTITY, THE SUM OF ALL FEARS, TOP GUN
What’s New About the Story
The originality stems from the unique skill set that Yonti has both in computers and in combat. He is able to be an expert but also new at the same time thus useful and learning.
Yonti is hardworking, naturally skilled, and smart. Claire is hopeful and calm. Stan is patient and calculating.
Uniqueness of Story
This has a ton of potential for development with a bit more added to flesh out the side characters to make them dynamic rather than static.
Film: Studio, Indie, Streaming TV Series: Network, Cable, Limited Run / Mini-Series, Streaming
WORK IN PROGRESS
While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.
Tips for Improvement
Adding more proactive influence to the side characters and or transformations as to their own inner conflicts would strengthen the dynamics and dialogue of the character interactions to be more distinct. Creating a consistent antagonist may also help increase emotional attachment and consistent rising tension rather than pacing that increases at intervals.