White Fright
ACTION APOCALYPTIC POLITICAL WAR YOUNG ADULT SUSPENSE/THRILLER ROMANCE
Other
Sid De Beer
Submision Type
book
Logline
An old enemy rears its head in the quest fro world domination and the CIA has to deal with numerous threats from this old enemy. Genre is a fiction novel about a CIA agent that thwarts numerous plans from the old enemy seeking to dominate the world
Genre
Action,Apocalyptic,Political,War,Young Adult,Suspense/Thriller,Romance
Short Summary
The President turned to his aides seated around in the situation room. His face white with fright. An exceptionally talented student came to the attention of the CIA station chief in Paris, France and recruited he became a ruthless killer in the line of duty.
Setting
Paris, France-Virginia USA
Based on a True Story
No
Plot - Premise
Quest
Plot - Other Elements
Twist
Mature Audience Themes
Information not completed
Main Character Details
Name: Yonti Barr who uses multiple aliases on various missions
Age: 22-24
Gender: Male
Role: Logical
Key Traits: Adventurous,Aspiring,Aggressive,Charming,Confident,Crazy,Decisive,Faithful,Heartthrob,Heroic,Educated,Honorable,Leader,Lone Wolf,Strong Moral Code,Seductive,Secretive,Romantic,Visionary,Skillful,Patriotic,Obedient,Masculine,Engaging,Flexible
Additional Character Details
Name: Captain Bastienne Petit of the French Police
Age: Various
Gender: Male
Role: Mentor
Key Traits: Adventurous,Aspiring,Badass,Aggressive,Confident,Heroic,Honorable,Leader,Strong Moral Code,Secretive,Visionary,Skillful,Selfless,Patriotic,Obedient,Masculine
Additional Character Details
Name: Stan Noble
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Role: logical
Key Traits: Adventurous,Aspiring,Aggressive,Decisive,Heroic,Educated,Honorable,Leader,Strong Moral Code,Visionary,Skillful,Masculine
Additional Character Details
Name: Clare Johnson
Age: 24
Gender: Other
Role: logical
Key Traits: Charming,Sexy
Genre
ACTION, DRAMA
Brief
Yonti is recruited as a student in Paris by the CIA. He is trained to become a fighter on par with his exceptional mind. Under a new alias he helps the CIA monitor Russia and other perceived enemies. With nuclear weapons coming into the picture, Yonti realizes he also has something to loose now, his fiance Claire, which makes him vulnerable to attack.
Overall Rating
EXCELLENT
Narrative Elements
Authors Writing Style: GOOD
Characterization: GOOD
Commerciality: GOOD
Franchise Potential: EXCELLENT
Pace: GOOD
Premise: GOOD
Structure: EXCELLENT
Theme: FAIR
Accuracy of Book Profile
The book profile does reflect the story although some of the sections could be condensed or expanded. The logline could take the explanation of genre and place that in the development pitch. The character details could also showcase the importance of Claire by adding her. The short summary can be a bit confusing in that the order makes it sound like the CIA of Yonti in that he went rogue and became a killer when it just means that he become trained. By clarifying that Yonti is a good guy or editing the syntax to make it clear that he was trained not a traitor this will simplify the profile implications to better match the story.
Draw of Story
Yonti's training and being thrown into the job is compelling. The pacing is great and the characters are likable. There is a mystery as to whether Yonti has what it takes and how long his secret identity will be safe and when it will cause danger.
Possible Drawbacks
The plot and pacing is pretty on par, although some of the dialogue when it is in a foreign language can be repetitive. For example if the character speaks in French they then speak the same translation, when in reality, the conversation would not have the translation. By making the meaning evident with context such as answering the correct response in English to a French question or simply saying for example " they were praising God in Arabic" rather than having characters self-translate.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
The hook is that Yonti is a french student recruited by the CIA who has multiple alias that are needed to stop a nuclear war. He is talented and fresh at the job, but ends up losing a lot in the process when it comes to a normal life and some of the people he works with.
Fanbase Potential
This genre as an action film or series could have a large fanbase with further developed side characters to make the action hero dynamics even more distinct.
Awards Potential
Although it could be popular due to the action genre, the same genre may limit the prestige awards it may be nominated for. This might win for popular awards however.
Envisioned Budget
LARGE BUDGET
Similar Films/TV Series
ALIAS, 24, JACK RYAN, BOURNE IDENTITY, THE SUM OF ALL FEARS, TOP GUN
What’s New About the Story
The originality stems from the unique skill set that Yonti has both in computers and in combat. He is able to be an expert but also new at the same time thus useful and learning.
Lead Characters
Yonti is hardworking, naturally skilled, and smart. Claire is hopeful and calm. Stan is patient and calculating.
Uniqueness of Story
This has a ton of potential for development with a bit more added to flesh out the side characters to make them dynamic rather than static.
Possible Formats
Film: Studio, Indie, Streaming TV Series: Network, Cable, Limited Run / Mini-Series, Streaming
Analyst Recommendation
WORK IN PROGRESS
Justification
While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.
Tips for Improvement
Adding more proactive influence to the side characters and or transformations as to their own inner conflicts would strengthen the dynamics and dialogue of the character interactions to be more distinct. Creating a consistent antagonist may also help increase emotional attachment and consistent rising tension rather than pacing that increases at intervals.