ACTION, THRILLER, ROMANCE

Bethany wants to put a stop to a local dog fighting ring that has recently sprung up. Unable to do it alone she enlists her other vet techs, her high school crush and his motorcycle gang to help put a stop the the animal abuse. Bethany comes face to face with the owner, an evil king from her previous life as a Viking and she realizes she must set the record straight.

GOOD

FIRST PERSON

Authors Writing Style: FAIR

Characterization: FAIR

Commerciality: GOOD

Franchise Potential: FAIR

Pace: FAIR

Premise: GOOD

Structure: FAIR

Theme: GOOD

MC is an abbreviation that is meant to stand for Motorcycle Club, but without the context of the book, these initials could have other meanings. It would be better to write out the motorcycle club instead of the initials for clarity. The logline lists that there has been a string of bait dogs in Bethany's town, but Bethany only experiences one at work before she springs into action rather than many.

The idea that a vet tech is taking on a dog fighting ring is entertaining and has a lot of emotional investment.

There are not set backs that have lasting consequences to build the tension. The progress from beginner karate to fighting expert is too quick for the pacing to seem realistic. Showing conflicts aside from how the antagonists are evil such as the protagonists struggles would help add rising actions toward the climax.

THE STORY RELIES A LITTLE BIT ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

The hook is that a dog fighting ring is being taken down by a trio of vet techs and their motorcycle gang. Dog fighting is a pretty universal villain; an audience would root for their defeat and the protagonists' success.

This could have a medium size fanbase depending on if the actions genre is more central than the romance. The hyper-violence of the action may be off-putting, and this film is likely going to be just for adults due to its sensitive nature.

It is possible that this could have some awards potential for Bethany for her fight against animal abuse if the fight becomes more philosophical and less about her past Viking life. The romance and the action are exciting elements to the story but the focus would have to be on stopping animal abuse for potential award recognition.

MEDIUM BUDGET

SONS OF ANARCHY, FREE WILLY, VIKINGS, THE LOBSTER, DANCING WITH THE WOLVES, TRUE BLOOD

A lot of the story is original, but getting the elements to be cohesive could be more seamless. Bethany's matter of fact take on love, diabetes, and dogfighting as well as Vikings seems like different genres at times. By focusing on the hyper-realism of gritty dog fighting or the mystical aspects of her Viking past life, the tone would be more even.

Bethany is “no nonsense,” and talks very directly. She knows what she wants and the order of her priorities. She has a brave heart and is ambitious.

This has too many elements from drug addiction and human trafficking to past life dream sequences about Vikings to be a rare gem. By catering the focus to the intended drama, either gritty realism or historical fiction, the narrative will be more cohesive in tone.

Film - Indie, Film - Streaming, Film - Studio, TV Series - Cable, TV Series - Network, TV Series - Streaming

WORK IN PROGRESS

While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

The side characters could be more dynamic to match their loud personalities. The pacing needs lasting setbacks so the emotional investment of success feels earned for the protagonists. The Viking element is interesting but its integration could be shorter and smoother to correct narrative flow.