ACTION, SUSPENSE, ROMANCE, DRAMA, WAR, POLITICS

Kansai trains under his uncle in the art of Ninjutsu after the disappearance of his father. Kansai trains along with his cousin, Watanabe and Watanabe's crush Mariko. Kansi shows promise with his skills, but the more he learns the more he realizes he needs to dig deeper to find out what happened to his father. Mariko becomes involved in the same mission that Kansai's father failed at and years later the entire dojo must go to war in order to rescue her even though she doesn't remember who she is.

GOOD

THIRD PERSON

Authors Writing Style: GOOD

Characterization: GOOD

Commerciality: GOOD

Franchise Potential: EXCELLENT

Pace: GOOD

Premise: EXCELLENT

Structure: FAIR

Theme: GOOD

The book profile's logline summarizes the beginning of the book as does the short summary however the majority of the book outside of the training is left out of the summary. As the second book is not a part of the narrative it would make more sense to focus the short summary on the actual chapter of the saga rather than the series. The development pitch explains that this would make a good movie but does not provide further insight into what elements support that claim to further intrigue the audience. The character details only showcasing Kansai and Mariko leave room to also add the antagonists or other roles important to Kansai's development.

The sprawling epic has so many secrets to uncover and uncovering the wrong secret at the wrong time can make things a lot more complicated. The world is very immersive and simple in nature yet at the same time the politics are highly complex and the fighting is full of tension.

The female roles feel limited, perhaps outside of Akiko, to their greatest power being seduction. This trope is used from the first introduction of Mariko to almost any female interaction of age turning into a romantic relationship.

THE STORY RELIES A LITTLE BIT ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

The hook is that Kansai's father and first love both disappeared on a covert mission and Kansai must figure out who is on his side in order to get the right answers about their fate.

This could have a large action fanbase unless it gets too tied down by strategy over the actual action and spy network. Feudal Japan as a political drama is a fresh concept for Western markets with dazzling visuals and likeable characters providing a good blend of grittiness and escapism.

This may have awards potential for its costume and set designs, but the action heavy plot means that the acting range is unlikely to garner recognition. The plot taking precedence over character development means the adaptation could be popular but not win popular awards outside of ensemble nominations.

LARGE BUDGET

13 ASSASSINS, AKIRA KUROSAWA SAMURAI FILMS, CROUCHING TIGER HIDDEN DRAGON, 47 RONIN

The originality comes from the lush setting and complex network of betrayal and loyalty between the different clans and towns. The characters are supportable, but giving them more three dimensional development will raise the stakes and create further emotional investment in the external goals.

Kansai is cool calm and collected with a loyalty and strict moral code that defies societal norms. He is a very upstanding warrior who refuses to give up on his missions. Mariko is a fierce warrior who is brave for using her supposed weaknesses as a woman to overpower her opponents. She is ambitious and goes after what she wants but also has self-preservation.

This is a cool story full of action but the main characters are static and the mysteries are drawn out in being solved. Much of the book is set up for the last act of the story and even then a lot of the questions presented remain unanswered. By answering more questions and giving the characters more depth and internal conflict, they will have more impact on the meaning of the intricate plot.

Film - Indie, Film - Streaming, Film - Studio, TV Series - Limited Run / Mini-Series, TV Series - Streaming

WORK IN PROGRESS

While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.

A lot of the characters are missing internal conflicts that don't involve romantic relationships. They are often told of their personalities rather than shown which makes them lack a transformation or seem three dimensional as they are lacking flaws. For example Mariko says Kansai is special but Kansai never proves that idea in front of her nor does he show distinction as a fighter until far later. He has a strong set of morals, but what he thinks about events and what motivates him is less clear. Answering more questions in the first narrative will help the plot make more sense and have higher stakes by increasing the tension rather than using so much of the first and second act as setup.