PORTAL OF CAPRICORN
Submision Type
book
Logline
A mysterious old book is the way to a Time Portal. Dru Ruver and her friends are transported 20,000 years ago in a hostile and unknown world with giants and other races. A world coalition government wants to repopulate the Earth to try to change the Humanity History.
Genre
Fantasy,Adventure,Sci-fi,Historical Fiction
Short Summary
Young Dru Ruver is seventeen years old during that summer vacation near the Tropic of Capricorn when she is faced with an unexpected discovery: A mysterious, rare antique book containing maps, symbols and indecipherable ideograms that seemed to point to an overwhelming truth.
Setting
Tropic of Capricorn ( passes through 10 countries, e 3 Oceans)
Based on a True Story
No
Plot - Premise
Internal Journey/Rebirth,Voyage and Return,Quest,Rebellion Against 'The One',Overcoming Monster/Villain
Plot - Other Elements
Philosophical Questions,Meaningful Message,Twist
Mature Audience Themes
Information not completed
Main Character Details
Name: DRU RUVER
Age: 17 years old
Gender: Female
Role: Protagonist
Key Traits: Adventurous,Aspiring,Gracious,Heroic,Strong Moral Code,Honorable,Educated,Visionary,Desperate,Secretive,Skillful
Additional Character Details
Name: Hans Berger
Age: 47 years old
Gender: Male
Role: Antagonist
Key Traits: Complex,Crazy,Decisive,Desperate,Greedy,Leader,Unapologetic,Secretive,Sarcastic,Visionary,Power Hungry,Villainous,Criminal,Aggressive
Additional Character Details
Name: Dr. Felipe Meine
Age: 37 years old
Gender: Male
Role: mentor
Key Traits: Adventurous,Aspiring,Charming,Complex,Empathetic,Sophisticated,Strong Moral Code,Leader,Blunt,Desperate,Visionary,Educated
Additional Character Details
Name: Vitina Almen
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Role: logical
Key Traits: Adventurous,Aspiring,Badass,Confident,Seductive,Heroic
Genre
FANTASY, ACTION
Brief
Dru River is a 17-year-old girl who finds an old and intriguing book. Fascinated by those pages full of weird symbols and maps, she invites a historian, Dr. Meine, to decipher the mysteries of the ancient artifact. The journey begins when Dru River and a group of scientists, led by Meine, find a portal, exactly where the book was also found, that transports them to twenty thousand years in the past. Now they have to find a way back home and to save humanity from a vile plan.
Overall Rating
FAIR
Narrative Elements
Authors Writing Style: FAIR
Characterization: FAIR
Commerciality: GOOD
Franchise Potential: GOOD
Pace: FAIR
Premise: GOOD
Structure: GOOD
Theme: FAIR
Accuracy of Book Profile
It does depict the book properly.
Draw of Story
Time travel is an instant attention grabber. Also, having a small and quiet city as the chosen place for this important portal connects the fantastic plot to the audience.
Possible Drawbacks
I believe the book takes too long before the adventure starts. It's important to define characters and the environment around them, but the time travel is the hook, and it could happen before.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
The time travel to a time when we cannot even imagine how Earth looked like. It's the perfect scenario for an interesting adventure.
Fanbase Potential
I believe so. If well developed, the story could have a large fanbase, formed by teens and Sci-fi lovers.
Awards Potential
It has the potential for Sci-fi awards.
Envisioned Budget
LARGE BUDGET
Similar Films/TV Series
TERMINATOR: A COMPANY OF THE FUTURE SENDS ROBOTS TO KILL PEOPLE IN THE PRESENT. DARK: A SUCCESSFUL FOREIGN SERIES THAT IS BASED ON TIME TRAVEL. DC'S LEGENDS OF TOMORROW: A TIME TRAVELLER GETS TO KNOW AN EVIL PLAN TO DESTROY EARTH.
What’s New About the Story
It has a Brazilian beach as the place where the time travel happens. It needs improvements in dialogue, characterization, and in settings. The time travel to 20.000 years in the past could be way more interesting if the author develops better this unique universe.
Lead Characters
They seem to be standard people that are suddenly inserted in this adventure. A common teenage girl and a group of scientists traveling in time. The audience can feel even more connected to these characters if they are alike to the audience.
Uniqueness of Story
It's not a rare gem as it is, but it could be improved in terms of characterization, stakes, internal conflicts, the new universe the author creates. This universe definitely needs improvement, so we can immerse ourselves in the adventure.
Possible Formats
Film - Studio, TV Series - Cable, TV Series - Streaming
Analyst Recommendation
WORK IN PROGRESS
Justification
While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.
Tips for Improvement
Development in characters, so they can sound differently; additional research to add more realism to the dialogue. The scientists need to talk like scientists, otherwise, all the plot is lost. A quicker pace. As an adventure story, things have to happen faster so the audience won't feel bored with long explanations and descriptions. Some actions, including internal conflicts, are repetitive. The girl thinks too much about how weird her neighbor is. Additional drama, more conflicts, more stakes. This is a life or death journey, and we have to feel the characters take it absolutely seriously. Some of their actions are a little bit childish, such as cursing the villain. They are standard people, but they were invited to an important mission: save humanity, and this invitation could be the base for an interesting character arc progress.