Omniverse: Book I of the Omniverse Chronicles

ROMANCE SCI-FI SUSPENSE / THRILLER ACTION ADVENTURE DRAMA FANTASY
1960s & '70s
William Grace
Logline
Omniverse is the tale of Jack Thornton, who learns that he is a Hero, an undying servant of the Absolute, and who meets the woman of his dreams in a terrible nightmare.
Genre
Romance, Sci-Fi, Suspense / Thriller, Action, Adventure, Drama, Fantasy,
Short Summary
Jack Thornton is a former Marine lieutenant who learns that he is doomed to be a Hero, and undying servant of the absolute.
Setting
San Francisco, California
Based on a True Story
No
Plot - Premise
Overcoming Monster/Villain
Plot - Other Elements
Happy Ending, Twist,The Hero''s Journey
Mature Audience Themes
Language/Profanity
Main Character Details
Name: John Michael "Jack" Thornton.
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Role: Protagonist
Key Traits: Badass, Charming, Extraordinary Powers and Abilities, Honorable, Lone Wolf, Masculine, Selfless, Confident, Faithful, Flexible, Funny, Heroic, Outspoken, Blunt, Educated, Engaging, Decisive, Perseverance, Strong Moral Code, Adventurous, Aggressive, Complex
Additional Character Details
Name: Aiyanna
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Role: Protagonist
Key Traits: Beautiful, Confident, Faithful, Heartthrob, Badass, Empathetic, Leader, Romantic, Adventurous, Heroic, Seductive, Sexy, Selfless, Charming, Decisive, Engaging, Extraordinary Powers and Abilities, Honorable
Additional Character Details
Name: Sean Plunkett
Age: 70
Gender: Male
Role: Mentor
Key Traits: Selfless, Strong Moral Code, Adventurous, Aggressive, Confident, Faithful, Lone Wolf, Secretive, Masculine, Skillful, Sophisticated, Badass, Charming, Complex, Engaging, Perseverance, Outspoken, Decisive, Extraordinary Powers and Abilities, Funny, Heroic, Honorable, Modest
Additional Character Details
Name: Travis Napoleon Tyler
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Role: Antagonist
Key Traits: Honorable, Leader, Sophisticated, Strong Moral Code, Charming, Confident, Heroic, Perseverance, Skillful, Aspiring, Complex, Masculine, Aggressive, Educated, Outspoken, Funny, Badass, Decisive, Engaging
Genre
ACTION, ROMANCE, THRILLER, FANTASY
Brief
Jack Thornton and Aiyanna adjust to life together coming from two different worlds. However they must do this while fighting the Absolute's slew of evil mythical creatures. Thornton and his crew are victorious in the end, but the new lovers' relationship suffers.
Overall Rating
FAIR
Narrative Elements
Authors Writing Style: FAIR
Characterization: FAIR
Commerciality: FAIR
Franchise Potential: FAIR
Pace: GOOD
Premise: FAIR
Structure: FAIR
Theme: FAIR
Accuracy of Book Profile
The Book Profile is for Omniverse Book 1 and while the file is labeled as such the actual pages are the second book in the series. Jack and Aiyanna are already together and the Absolute mythology has already been established so there are certain gaps in knowledge about the character's history together. By either adjusting the summary to be Book 2 and adding explanations about the first story to prepare for the second story or changing the file to be book one it will be easier to follow.
Draw of Story
Aiyanna is mystical and her actions are unpredictable without being able to be verbal. She is an interesting non-verbal character that is both very human at times and other times more like an alien. She is an intriguing character.
Possible Drawbacks
The characters tend to be cultural stereotypes which allows for quick personality assignments but doesn't leave a lot of room for uniqueness and three dimensional depth. Focusing on character development with internal conflicts along with the external conflicts will help add emotional investment and depth to the character fights. Thornton and Aiyanna have this dynamic within their relationship, but the other characters are missing their own objectives or emotional arcs.
Use of Special Effects
THE STORY RELIES HEAVILY ON SPECIAL EFFECTS
Primary Hook of Story
The hook is that the creature antagonists borrowed from different mythologies are rare and possess fresh but mesmerizing visuals. The monsters are scary and like few have seen before.
Fanbase Potential
This could have a medium size fanbase of those who enjoy supernatural action movies. There is a lot of mythology and cultures packed into the story and it might attract people who enjoy the diverse representation.
Awards Potential
This is unlikely to have awards potential as most action films do not fare well in dramatic or comedic awards. Depending on the special effects of the monsters it might win for more behind the scenes awards.
Envisioned Budget
LARGE BUDGET
Similar Films/TV Series
RESIDENT EVIL, RED SPARROW, ATLANTIS, CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK, THE LAST WITCH HUNTER, THE MUMMY, HEMLOCK GROVE
What’s New About the Story
Having Aiyanna be non-verbal but a main character is rare. Although it is centered around her having a language barrier, she shows she doesn't need English to communicate. Making her goal to be understood rather than to learn to be and speak like everyone else might make her more unique. It could even make her a role model for non-verbal audiences.
Lead Characters
Jack Thornton is wise yet still fearless. Aiyanna is independent and fiercely protective.
Uniqueness of Story
It has a lot of cultural representation, but sticking solidly to one culture that is less represented could help strengthen the respect, connection and awareness towards the culture and its unique mythology.
Possible Formats
Film - Studio, Film - Streaming
Analyst Recommendation
WORK IN PROGRESS
Justification
While the story has many positive points, it has room for improvement (see possible paths below). If you can't change the story at this point, my suggestion is using your notes as a guide to highlight the best aspects of it when taking the next steps, either putting a pitch page together, a treatment, or a presentation.
Tips for Improvement
Focusing on one culture for the mythology such as Wendigo's Cree origins or Modoc or Japanese etc. would feel more honorable towards the use of someone else's culture. The cultural stereotypes could be reduced in order to provide room for uniqueness and depth to the side characters. The women especially are often reduced to both stereotypes and physical appearance descriptions so adding more traits and agency to them would help make them more well-rounded.